Comments : Hollow

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    5/5. I like this. :) and what it stands for.
    Again.. im sorry..

    • 7 years ago

      by Maher

      Thanks Naomi, nothing to be sorry about :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Maher, a very saddening piece by you. I'm not quite sure where it came from as you always seem happy go lucky so I do hope it isn't literal though if it is you know where I am. The write itself is beautiful though as always.

    Goodnight, face.
    Goodnight 'til the rain of tomorrow.
    I'll be here, lest you sing me your song;
    your falling melody so full of sorrow.
    What I'd give to taste
    the freedom to bend the past to my will,
    but it's gone and there'll be no other;
    no seeds to plant in the ground I've tilled.
    ^^^
    A great opening stanza. I feel this face is the past that you are ridding of or at least trying to get rid of and we should always try to rid of the bad things in our past but if we do then what will our future be because the past shapes our future after all or so I feel...
    The imagery is once again (as always) wondrous.

    So goodnight, face.
    Goodnight 'til the rain of tomorrow.
    In your fall, we may meet once again,
    so grant me respite 'til the day that follows.
    ^^^
    Love this ending because it shows that we sometimes go back to the bad in our lives regardless of how,bad they are for us but we're only human after all aren't we?

    Anyway, I liked this. It's yours after all haha
    Em
    *edit you got a less vague comment :p whether or not it makes sense or not I'm not sure as I cannot sleep again haha*

    • 7 years ago

      by Maher

      Haha thank you Em, I actually like it when you break down what I write. I like other perspectives. I'll be fine though, thanks for asking and for commenting :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    You better had be Sir :p

    I know I probably got it all wrong but none of us are perfect haha :)

    • 7 years ago

      by Maher

      No, you were pretty spot on ma'am :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Love your poetry!!!

    • 7 years ago

      by Maher

      Thank you, ma'am :)