Comments : Night Shade

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Andrea this is such a sombre piece yet beautifully written. The images are so vivid.
    It's a bitter lemon
    upon a tongue
    that prefers
    sweet chocolate,
    ^^
    Love, love, love this part.

    Em

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Andrea,

    I think this will give me nightmares tonight, damn you. This literally sent shivers up and down my spine as I read, lol
    As ever, your writing is full of ridiculously good imagery which is genuinely a joy to read.

    All the best,
    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by ether

    Without meaning to sound too abstract - this poem sounds/feels delicate. As though it is a flower and if you were to reach out and touch it, its petals would fall off. You (seemingly) effortlessly captured a sense of fragility and your metaphors are just precious. I love this to pieces.

    Also, night shade is the name of a very effective pokemon move. This pokemon (haunter) used to appear in recurring nightmares I had as a child. For me, it adds an element of darkness to this piece. You probably never played pokemon so that wouldn't make sense but I wanted to add that in there ;)

    Amazing write.

  • 7 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Quick question, which iris did you mean, the goddess, color, flower, or the eye? They all work, but I"m just curious as to which one you meant.

    I really enjoyed this piece. :)

    • 7 years ago

      by Maple Tree

      Aww Mark thank you!

      I meant it for eyes and the flower...it's actually the key word for the entire piece...for me it sets the tone for nature, mystery and darkness....

  • 7 years ago

    by hiraeth

    That makes more sense, it ties in with the 'night shade eyes' part & 'wilted flower'. I agree, it's central to this piece. Thank you for clearing that up!

  • 7 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Beautiful... I love in particular the metaphor

    "It's a bitter lemon upon a tongue
    that prefers sweet chocolate"
    Milly x

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Andrea, such a hauntingly beautiful yearning write-your visuals lend to such a story. Just lovely-