Submission date : 2008-04-18
White Chocolate Dynamite ( F C D )
I liked your poem, it just kinda confused me in the middle stanzas and stuf. but it was very nice. Thanks for the comment on mine. 5/5
Windstorm ( F )
Deep, emotional..i liked the poem really, the flow in it was also a nice touching which made this poem great keep writing.
*plz feel free to comment or rate any of my writings thank you*
shadowknight ( F P C D )
I can picture
"Powered by Him;"
were the word him is spat out in distaste... (Just a thought)
I love it
You've already brought the mystery behind how into the poem once again intreging the reponder.
great imagery of sadness.
"Filling my Life"
(i dont know what technique it is) But it made me feel the poem more as though it was in every aspect of a life.
*If that makes sense*
thats the tear bringer.
"Nothing in the world
Happiness can bring."
Makes you think of how serious the depression she's feeling really is...
The blood stream thing sounds creepy but in a good way, as though she has to become part of him!!!
What i like about this stanza is the fact that it brings out the control factor in a blunt manner which adds edge to the poem
Its like the 1st stanza, summing up the poem in 3 lines! a great ending.
Its a great poem filled with imagery.
The short stanza make it easier to read and understand.
A great poem!
[ Praised by Nicole the Fairy | Approved by Sherry Lynn ]
AblissfulDREAMER ( F C D )
I just loved how you began and ended this poem. The beginning caught my eye and made me want to read more and the ending just left me with a bang. The message behind it was clear and one I am sure many can relate with and the style you wrote in was simple yet held an immense amount of power and meaning. It might have been short of my liking but you pack a whole lot in your short stanza .. well done *5/5*
RainbowSlider ( F P C D )
A nice comparitive to the puppet strings poem. If you will the other side of the coin. Day follows night and night follows day. In another respect it might be looked at that this poem could be guided by the other. Very thought provoking. I liked it.