I cry myself to sleep

by David

I cry myself to sleep
I curl in a ball and breathe
I hide within myself till no one can see
I go further and further within me

I go further and further within me
I hide within myself till no one can see
I curl in a ball and breathe
I cry myself to sleep

I hurt whenever I think of you
I can't get them all out of my head
I cringe at all the memories
I think of you in my bed
I cry myself to sleep

I cry myself to sleep
I think of you in my bed
I cringe at all the memories
I can t get them all out of my head
I hurt whenever I think of you

 

Submission date : 2009-06-03
Last edit : 2009-06-03

Visits : 4007
Votes : 4
Rating : 5.0

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Latest comments

Maya ( F P C D ) at 2009-06-03

Well, David....all the I's kinda dazzled me. If you were to rewrite it with a maximum of one for each stanza, the poem would gain from it, I think.

The message is intensely sad and to think of you feeling this way is hard on me, son.
I hope all will work out well for you and your girl and that she will realize what she will lose if she were to let go of you!
You have so many talents and such a kind heart and you have so much to offer to a girl *shakes head* I just don't get how she could have you go through such pain, sweetheart.

If I could take away your pain, I would...just know you will always have my love and support, David:)


* tight hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

mandy ( F C D ) at 2009-08-01

That was very sad, but very beautiful. The emotions were amazing, 5/5!

- mandy :)

Gasttlee ( F P C D ) at 2009-09-15

Wow! So sad, yet simple and strong. This definitely deserves a 5.