Escher's Path

'Pounding headache.
Red eyes.
Nails down to the quick,
lips bitten raw.'

Isn't an awful beginning but see how you've only merely...told the audience what is happening. Poetry should not spoon feed, it should create meaning through metaphor and similes; this first stanza sounds like a clinical description of someone with anxiety disorder or something. My point is, there's nothing to sink my teeth into (no pun intended) nothing to make me think past what you're saying.

'Tired of crying.
Sick of lying.
Feel like dying,
but can't stop hiding.'

No, no. Drop this nursery rhyme scheme here. Sick of lying? Vague. Tired of crying? Vague. The 'but' between the third and fourth line isn't needed since it's a continuous negative 'image'. 'Sick' and 'tired' are yawn worthy adjectives I'm afraid.

"Thump thump"
yells the Brain in my skull
One small bite
and my Stomach's too full.'

Yells? You can do better than that. How can a brain yell 'thump thump'? Even as an image that's obscure. That's like saying 'snap crackle pop' screamed my heart.

This isn't a terrible poem but it's so full of vague imagery and trite sentence structures that at the end, it's instantly forgotten since there's nothing there that ties your narrator to the reader, nothing there that allows the reader to use their brain to figure out.

You need to think about your sentences more.

Paper shattered?
Thoughts spilt?
Set design tattered?

These evoke no image, the former is almost an oxymoron. Avoid abstract words like 'thoughts' because I'm left thinking:

what thoughts?
what lies?
what set design?
what reality?

You've given the reader a rib and a few other bones to what needs to be a full bodied poem. If you can take anything from this, that is to reada lot more contemporary poetry and understand that poems take a lot more effort than strung together adjectives, nouns and verbs.

Thanks for sharing