So here I am

So here I am again, writing away my life.
No sleep again, what's so wrong about that?
Trying not to blink, as everytime my eyes close, the memories come rushing back.
Perfect flash backs of what my life use to be.
Fresh cuts to ease the pain for the moment.
My mind is not a safe place to be, it takes over my body as I no longer have the strength to fight it.
Tears stream down my face as I try to hold myself together.
I know that it's no ones job to be burdened with my problems, so I'll keep doing this by myself.
Trying so hard to find the good in this world, trying to find the smallest reason for why I should continue to be here.
I find none.
Every waking moment is a constant battle.
I can't let anyone see the cracks in my disguise.
And if my disguise doesn't work, and people pretend to be care,
I have to cover myself up with more lies and excuses for why I am this way.
So I'll continue to hide my real life and self away from the world.