Fragile Strength

by Marie   Apr 9, 2014


You play off my insecurities
To get what you want
You know what to say or do
For me to give into you

You build me up
Just to let me fall
I always feel like
I am nothing at all

Don't say you love me,
Don't say you will be there
Because I already know
That you don't really care!

I may be crazy
I may be dumb
But even I know
I am under your thumb

I'm sick of being your puppet
You choose my every move
I am cutting the strings
And releasing myself from you

I'm not going to lie
I am scared and weak
But even my internal prison
Is more comforting to me

I hate what I allowed myself to become
I hate what I allowed you to do
I hate that I don't love me
I hate that I don't hate you

I never thought I'd ever be
So comfortable in this place again
The darkness of my past seeping through
I can't believe I ever trusted you!

I am worthless and pathetic
I am lost and fragile
I am empty and numb
I am nobody at all

You know what you did
And I hope you see
I am this way again
because of you, not me

So when you look into my eyes
And see nothing at all
Remember what you used to see
Everything that used to be me

I will now forever roam
this empty road of hell
I have retreated back inside
Silent torture I know oh so well

I don't think I will ever scream
Or try to claw my way out
Because in here I am alone
And that's all I will ever allow

This is the sentence
I will have to endure
For allowing myself to be
A prisoner of yours

So I hope you are happy
I hope you feel free
Because you took everything,
Every single good part of me

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  • 10 years ago

    by Marie

    Thank you for the feedback! I started writing these poems to get out the hurt/pain/sadness caused by the person that I am "writing to" in hopes that someday he will see how much I hold in to be his everything...if that makes sense...so they are more like journal entries and I was hesitant of putting them on here because of that. The positive feedback is kind of validation that is lacking when he doesn't want to look past his own world...so truly, thank you.
    Someday I will give him my book of "letters to you" so he will fully understand the words I fail to say to keep him happy.

  • 10 years ago

    by Milo

    "I'm not going to lie
    I am scared and weak
    But even my internal prison
    Is more comforting to me"

    That's deep. Trying to picture the mind as your own prison. Good poem I like it.