Uncle

It saw in your mind for years
i could see it in your eyes
and even very recently
you took off your disguise

we knew you were unhappy
we offered you our home
opened our doors for you
so you wouldn't be alone

but in your weakest moment
you chose to take your life
without any warning
in our backs we have a knife

its hard for me to ask you why
when I myself have tried
fortunately i wasn't you
fortunately I never died

but here your memory haunts us
my mom dad sisters and me
what should we have done
what didn't we see

you were incredibly loved
the gentle man we saw
but now you're cold as stone
forever left in awe

the last thing that we said
our "i love yous" we exchanged
the warm embrace we had
my love still left unchanged

i miss you being here with me
i miss the easy flow
i miss my tearless household
i hate that you let go

i want to be upset with you
i want to scream and yell
i want you to tell me you're okay
and release me from this hell