Monologue

by Saerelune   Jun 21, 2014


They tumble off the page,

... letter
...... by letter, leaving you

a l o n e.

Then you lock your cage, as simply
as drawing the curtains at night,
your head affixed to the wall,
as you hide behind a reversed strip-

tease,

... rib
...... by rib, knowing

"you're not even adequate for a quick f-"
uck ...
... gasp

as your words are suddenly
exposed to the air

and n o t h i n g
but the echo in your mind.

21-6-2014
5:31 PM

3


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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    This is a dark piece in my mind, and it goes beyond loneliness.... I feel like this character has been completely neglected, that they have come to the point where nothing in the world can satisfy them, seeking to feel something perhaps even if it's temporary. The part in quotations is so direct and make me picture this broken person, who seems unable to function because they have been let down so many times or have experienced depression. This is an expressive yet forlorn piece. The tone is set for the reader and almost haunts them, from the letters leaving this character to this character isolating herself so to speak, and hearing nothing but their own echo. There is an absence of passion and nothing can replace that. I like the effect of the format as well, it seems simple using the "..." and spacing a few words out, but it helps set the atmosphere as well and truly show how alone this person is, in their soliloquy. (4)

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Edited: for failure to keep on subject to the poem.

    :)

    • 9 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Aye what did you doooo i was still trying to find time to reply to that. XD sorry i was too late

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    See, you do know the importance of fillers too ;P

    Though I'm not sure if everything is fleeting in life. I know each individual's life is... But I still don't know if life overall would be fleeting at some point. Thought provoking, though right now I feel like I don't have much space to process... My brain needs a hard disk with more memory space lol.

    • 9 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Well, I guess things in life aren't fleeting in the sense that everything repeats, and everything is just a copy of something else. So even though one particle disappears it doesn't mean it's gone since it seems to be reborn in the split second that it disappears, so in a sense one wouldn't even sense its disappearance. Of course we just have to realise that one particle really is just the same as the other. Sometimes we appoint too much individuality to everything whilst everything is really made of one and one is really made of everything.

      Aye, I think I would love to have a hard disk as well, that would be rather convenient. :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Hmm Lady,
    There's a playfulness in your words... But there's a sadness in your words too... Yet I am not sure how to react

    So I am just writing to you - Hello, how's it going?

    The "you" is not "alone."

    You can add more letters whenever some tumble off. ;)
    There are some that will always stay. The ones that tumble off are merely the fillers. You know how fillers words are, right? The more one learns to write, the more one starts to realize the importance of each letter and each word.

    And well, this you know more than I do. That I am sure of.

    • 9 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Thanks for your concern, but I guess these moments are as fleeting as everything else in life. Aye, at least they allow for something to be captured in words. :p Words are indeed of importance, whilst some take unnecessary space.

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