Soul Star

by Baby Rainbow   Jul 5, 2014


In the dark of the night
my eyes remain wide open,
hoping to catch
glimpses of you
as you shoot across
the starlit sky.

A dream of dancing
beneath the moon,
warm inside your arms again,
twinkling together
as we light up the sky
with our everlasting love.

A chance to wish
upon your soul,
for you to feel my love
and know how deep it grows.

Saffie
23

5/7/14

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This is very creative and beautiful saffie. The metaphor works well here because you did not over complicate anything. This is one poem where I feel like you need that title to go with the poem otherwise it does not make sense at all. The soul is a powerful thing and when you think of it you see stars. Like somewhere up above they are watching over you and protecting you from harm. The feelings of warmth and love are well written in the second stanza. You believe they are still there with you and even though they are not, it seems like you are dancing with the memories. Love like this cannot be shown or written to feel its full impact. You have done well to express everything. Well done.

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Simply beautiful, Saffie.

    You watch the night sky that is full of bright stars, awaiting one to shoot past your eyes, giving you a reminder of that sweet someone... like it's a sign they are looking down on you.

    The second stanza is a beautiful thought. You dream of being together again, being a star just like this person and dancing beneath the moon, lighting up the sky together, like it should be.

    One little typo in together in the second stanza.

    Lovely piece!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Skyler

    The metaphor shifting from a broad aspect of nature to something personal is one of my favorite poetic devices. 5/5