Graveside Tears

Though we have to move on, the heart does not allow; for the one that stole our hearts have left us with an unforgettable loss..a touching write that will touch any reader.

Just loved this poem 5/5

My love for you was given free
but now my heart must pay a price.
I opened up my all to you
in hope you'd never leave...

^this was an interesting introduction, it was simple and introduced the point clearly and well, but it also broke my heart in its simple way. Nice job, great use of a hook.

(yet here I am mourning,
weeping by your grave.)

^I like the way you set this apart from everything and used it to break up the scenes a bit. I can see why you used this to do so, I also enjoy the fact that it feels seamless and effortless.

You spent your whole life trying
to prove your love for me,
and as the years passed by
I started to believe...

^this stanza made me think a bit because i know so many people who feel like this, who have done this and been on both ends. Really though this one felt different and gave a different light to the piece each time I read it.

(yet here I am mourning,
weeping by your grave.)

^ I have already described this stanza but i will add that it feels a bit more sad each time it is read throughout the piece.

Raindrops gather in the clouds,
falling memories reach the ground.
I pray this loneliness will end
and I will find love once again...

^I love the creativity in the first two lines of this stanza, they were so well written. I especially like that this is how you chose to end the story in the piece, it is emotional and climatic, great. Even though this is a heartrending piece it feels like there is a little bit of hope here now.

(yet here I am mourning,
weeping by your grave.)

^ fabulous. I am glad you kept the repetition up, it created a nice flow and made the piece feel so much more subtle (i hope that makes sense).

Really, this is amazing, I relate to it, I know many who can in their own way, yet it still has that personal side to it. That little detail or degree of thought that no one else can just quite grasp. Great piece.

O Saffie this poem really made me want to cry I love that it looks like a song a singer singing one part and the chorus is singing another I also like that all your poems are direct hardly have to open up my skull with trying to figure out what you are saying thanks for writing this 5/5

-Bet