Love Corrupted

Bravo, Cassie! You done very well with this prompt! Thanks again for participating! :)

The story-line here is about a relationship turned abusive. In the beginning, they were so nice and made you feel safe, it was your first true love. But as the relationship progressed, their true colors showed. They turned cold and hostile. Most abusers definitely manipulate people into thinking they are a great person, they create personas that are 'normal' so that they can make someone fall into their trap, once that person is truly in love with them, they show their true side, knowing that since you love them, you most likely will stay with them.

You really captured some great detail throughout the whole poem. I especially love the image of the carpet in the beginning, it's not something most people focus on..but as you were laying on the floor, it is something that maybe you focused on to get yourself through the abuse. You focused on the carpet, the shards of glass from the plates, just anything besides the abuse.

"I see."

- I love how you singled this out. It's so simple but it's a major turning point. You see this person for who they truly are, you are able to feel the hate for them now, repulsed by every single part of him. The love you once had for him has vanished and you can see a future that no longer involves him.

Great job!!!

Here, upon this greying carpet
midst the shards of
our last meal I lie.
^^
I love the detail, it immediately set the scene in the readers mind. I like how you used the word 'shards' in this section - powerful use of wording to captivate the reader.

Defeated.
Watching you through lashes
tipped with rain as memories
fill my aching mind
with want.
^^
I like your use of one worded sentences it really highlights and isolates the words of importance.
I love the imagery created when reading -"lashes tipped with rain - composing this feeling of heaviness then later expressing the memories - beautifully linked!

You were my first, the only one
I ever felt my heart call
out to from its lonely
cage.
So tall and strong I knew
I would be safe within
your arms from all life's
persecutions.
^^
I like how you introduced the characters only love - it enables the reader to stay in tune with the characters inner feelings as if you the writer has given the reader a key into the characters soul.

Yet.
^^
Effective technique as I have stated above, such small words create such high effects of meaning and power within the poem!

Sky blue eyes that smiled
with innocence and care
regard me now so
cold and hard.
^^
Here we get to see the first glimpse of repulsion
I believe you interchanged the mood so swiftly and smoothly from love to hate so delicately on the surface yet the underlying message so strong and deep!

Soft caresses born of love
have turned to crashing
fury filled with biting
pain.
Words of honey dripping
in my ears such sweetness
disappear amidst the acid
tang of curse.
^^
I love how you mix and embed such opposites so naturally within your sentences, it really distinguishes a clear line between the past and present.

I see.

My heart at last finds unity
with thoughts that long ago
took shape. Yet were persistently
denied.
Through rosy glow I look
no longer 'pon the love you were
and stare belatedly at here
and now.
And as the crimson of my life
begins to merge with threadbare
greying strands I know at last
the truth.
^^
Wow what a great way to finish! Sometimes I find that it is now a person's purpose in life to discover the truth and I like the way you made it look like the character is self -reflecting and in the final stanza takes a step back and views the past through a magnified glass and understands the fault of the past and develops a degree of truth!

Such an amazing poem!
thankyou for sharing

5/5 from me

Love it.