Waves Of Darkness

by Baby Rainbow   Oct 8, 2014


Waves of darkness wake her up
on this cold autumn morning,
drowning her abandoned dreams
that she left behind with the moon.

A gloomy silence fills the air,
eerie and still as a graveyard.
This hollow darkness swallows her
inside ghostly shadows of her past.

The passing of unseen winds and spirits
sweep her away with a mysterious fog...

...and it was there she was found,
her cold body buried beneath a
fresh pile of crispy leaves, unable
to be woken again by the waves
of drowning darkness.

Saffie
23

4/10/14

1


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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    First: This is a great stanza to kick start the poem. The wordplay here is honestly great. The moon is great because that is what controls the waves, so could you say it was the full moon that woke you up? Using nature as an emotional poem I like. The first line here interests me a lot. You could say that the darkness was in your nightmares and that startled you awake. Autumn is a great touch as well because we are in autumn now!

    Second: Silence in any situation can be eerie, but here you bring the creepy feelings back and listening to that silence can play tricks on your mind. The past can be very real in the present with memories that are brought back to life, not a lit of people can understand that. Nice wordplay here too. Graveyard and ghosts all work well together to tell me that there could be a death that haunts your heart.

    Ending: wow this is immense. No one will know she died that day, the past finally catching up to her. Maybe this is all see needed all along to stop the pain she was feeling inside. Anyways. Though it is really only three stanzas, this poem really does capture your attention through out and does a great job to put you on the edge of your seat. You never strayed from the message. Great job hon. 5/5