Suicide

by Wednesday   Oct 18, 2014


Lost on the dark street
Black clouds is sky
Weather that I can't beat

Nine demons taunt me
Pushing me to the ground
Hidden behind every tree
I don't let myself be found

There are no street signs
Shadows lurk within
Nothing but evil in their minds
Laughing as I think of sin

Always going back to that dark street
Always going back to the clouds
Always the same weather I can't beat

One solitary car creeps by
Introduces himself as Suicide
I didn't question him why
Opening the door, letting me inside

Leather belt on my neck strangling
Metal buckle reflects the hopeful sun
Convulsing, praying, dying
What have I done?

Always turn back to the dark street
Always turn back to the clouds
Always the same weather I can't beat

Desperate I jumped when offered a ride
Anything to stop this pain I feel
When I road with the one called Suicide
He took me away from what's real

Alone I fight against his lie
For the life I didn't want anymore
Terrified that I am going to die
Someone please open the door

No more dark street
No more clouds
No more weather to beat

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Sorry hun I didn't see it maybe I was too tired

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    I would suggest commas as there is a lot of words in this beautiful poem and period it helps the poet know when one thought goes into another sentence as well. Take some words out from some lines since I have to go and re-read the line again I would suggest for you to go to Microsoft Word and see if the grammar is correct and if it is then awesome and if not I'm sure you can make it more beautiful (trust me any poet can make their poems twice as beautiful if they want to no matter that the first may have mistakes in it). Didn't see any rhyming which was a shame since this a sad poem but the rhyming would've made it stunning. Love the imagery and the emotions the flow is fine but like any poem (no matter who the poet is) could be better hun. That being said nice poem and I really love the repetion of some words just don't try to use the same words too much since there are millions of words in a dictonary! 5/5

    -Mori

    • 9 years ago

      by Wednesday

      It rhymes. It goes in threes. The first line and the third line rhymes

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