Let it go

Thanks. i appriciate it.

Powerful and heartfelt emotion throughout this poem... I can tell you wrote this straight from your soul and that pain is so evident on the page. I do have a few suggestions that are merely my own opinion, just thought I would share.

I noticed a few times in your poem you did not capitalize "i" and I actually like that. I've done it with a few of my poems and have read other poets who have used the same technique. For me at least, it conveys that sense of unworthiness or vulnerability. My suggestion is to either stick with that and do not capitalize any or choose to capitalize all. Just be consistent.

I also think you have a rhythm working in your favor in this poem and that you may not need all of the commas after each line, since you start a new line, implying your new thought. Your strongest lines are in the beginning with the imagery of swimming yet your inability to breathe, for your blanket of water "is like fleece". I would almost separate that first line to add emphasis and introduce the poem, as well.

"Things they don't seem to know,
I didn't realize how much I was needed,
I probably should have picked up the phone.
I don't wanna live anymore,"

- Elaborate on "they"? Your family or friends? A companion? Love how honest you get in this with the realization that you have an effect on others. You impact others.
- "wanna" should be "want to".

"Going through a spout of depression,"

- I don't think you need this line as it is already implied that you are going through depression, you are showing the reader what it is really like so blatantly stating it seems to weaken the poem.

"But the only thing keeping me here,
Isn't myself, and it's in vain."

- Lots of depth here. This reminds me of who we live for and that desire to have the will to live ourselves, not just having it pushed by others.

"What the frex is wrong with me?
Why am i in every bodies way?
it's not what i expected,"

- I can feel your frustration here and that you want to scream, but I would suggest deleting "the frex" as it kind of makes the poem less emotional and invoking, probably the opposite of what you were aiming to do.

- Also, "every bodies" should be "everybody's".

The repetition of wanting that freedom works as an end too because it's that raw, basic desire to be able to breathe and not have any of that pain present. But I don't think pain can last forever, it's something we can work through and find inspiration (through others or through reflection/what we enjoy) to get us through.

Keep writing and keep your head up.