I'm sorry for not meeting your eyes.

by Poet on the Piano   Nov 22, 2014


The library door is creaked open, for you.
I don't want the worry of, "is she having bad thoughts?" again.

I used baby wipes to smear the coral lipstick off the mirror, for you.
I don't want the word I associate with myself being repeated, "who ever called you that?"

My glasses are speckled from residues of crying and pretending it was the film that moved me, Winnie the Pooh blanket over shoulders, I finished that dinner for you though I haven't carried an "I'm hungry" in my stomach for days.

I'm sorry I never texted you. I'm sorry I want him to hold me.

I'm sorry I can't describe how I feel because it's washing over me and I don't want you to be unclean.

I'm sorry there's nothing courageous in me to speak but my eyes are itchy, thoughts unceasing and I want the night to end.

-

I want you to have clarity (when I don't).

-

Freewrite at 1:20 AM
11/22/14

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Missy Panda MayheM

    I cannot for the life of me find the words, to describe the feelings that this poem brings. Your way with words has always left me breathless.

    Please keep up the amazing work :)

    Forever your fan,

    Lexi

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This piece feels like something you'd write to parents or maybe a roommate of some sort, either way I know what these shoes feel like - actually you have perfect timing for it.

    I like how each stanza gives a taste of the situation but is still ambiguous enough that each reader can see their own scene. I love the details of coral lipstick and the whinnie the poo blanket around your shoulders. I love how there are so many completely simple every day things in this piece and how wonderfully honestly human it feels. Some writers just put their emotions on a page but they leave things out that the reader would enjoy or they don't tell everything because they don't want the piece to be too long but you never seem to have that problem, you tell just enough of your story to make it perfect.

    Amazingly penned and still so perfectly heartbreaking.

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I don't want the word I associate with myself being repeated, "who ever called you that?"

    - such a great way to reword erasing someone's name. I think this also shows how we connect our name to those who have said it before in the past, or even a nick name they call us, or pet name, and we can never hear that name again without connecting it to that person!

    The story of the relationship in this poem is very sad, the longing for that person is there I think, you are trying to let them go, trying to let them move on from you, but deep down it doesn't feel like you are ready to.

    I really like all the little details you put in, like the glasses being speckled with tears, the mirror, the way that you didn't even feel hungry but you ate just to please this person.

    The ending shows your care towards this person and how you don't want them to suffer, even though not being with them is making you suffer.

    Deep write, thanks for sharing.