Immortality

by Baby Rainbow   Nov 23, 2014


Patiently waiting for death
to tie the knot with me,
I march through the swamp
of this empty stadium which
has been my life as long as time.

Immortality is a curse,
not a gift or borrow dream.
I can memorise every line
on the headstones of those
I have loved and lost -
yet here I am alone
with no grave to call my own.

My everlasting heart
can no longer love,
for it is drowning in the pain
of all the love I used to have.

And all I can do
is patiently wait
for death to crush my heart.
So I patiently wait,
and I pray to hear the sound
of my heart that no longer beats.

*challenge to write a poem based on a person with immortality.

Saffie
23

23/11/14

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by CuteThingsGoneWrong

    I loved the feel of this poem.

    Its the feeling you get where your trying to keep it together but your mind is slowly slipping and your giving up.

    Also hannah pretty much nailed the comment i had in mind in such a better light then i could have mustard.

  • 9 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    As always, you done very well with the prompt given. You captured the grief and loneliness that this immortal person holds within perfectly.

    Due to being immortal, patience has to be one of their strong qualities. They are waiting for death while life just continues to move forward. Time isn't really relevant anymore but they continue to march forward, almost in a haze, just going through the motions each day.

    Many people think that immortality would be a gift but they know better. They have lived it and know that it is nothing but a curse. They can live forever, however their loved ones cannot. They visit the cemetery so often that they can memorize every line on every tombstone - names, birthdays, death dates, personal writing, etc. The tombstones are a constant reminder that they have loved and lost so many, yet they can never join them in the afterlife, never have a tombstone to call their own.

    Love is no longer an option for them. Their heart may be everlasting but it is broken beyond repair. It is filled with heartache and mourning the loss of the loved ones they have already lost. There is no more room for anyone else. They can't bear to live with any more pain eternally.

    All they have left to do is wait, wait for that moment when death finally grants their wish to die. They constantly pray for the moment that they can no longer hear their heart beating.

    Wonderful poem!

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Rarely I see people write about this topic, and I think you did well. You created a character whose sadness overrides any other emotion that is felt within. You captured the loneliness well and this person is tired of being alive on this earth. He knows the pain of loss but cannot find it in himself. There is much he can do anymore. There is an interesting perspective here too. All of his friends and loved ones have passed away and it is difficult for him, but the irony is it's difficult to make more friends because he knows what will happen, it's just a vicious cycle of repeating life. No wonder why immortality is a curse. Great write.

  • 9 years ago

    by cassie hughes

    This is so sad. You have captured the feelings of loss and pain so well here. The fact that the immortal has to stand by and watch everyone they care for die is for me captured perfectly by the third stanza. I love the way it ends too seeming to show no hope as life stretches out into interminable loneliness.
    A beautiful piece that matches the prompt perfectly.