2014 was

by Yakari Gabriel   Dec 28, 2014


I don't get along with my mother. My father was a ghost I brought
back to life when I flew back to my homeland. I'm deeply alone.
but I don't say this often. Keeping myself alive is a hard task.
this year, the people I thought loved me found all the holes in me and escaped but I am healing. I am forgiving both parties.

You make me feel small. These are not my insecurities talking
Its just the truth. Even the men I sleep with, say they can't do it.
call me a tramp, say I am too much. Leave. My mother says I am a heartless woman, but even if all of this was my karma
I am not taking it. I never ask for anything, take all the no's.
respect their space. I make myself highly available, bend my schedule backwards. Forget my needs. But I am still too needy,
I never listen. Take things too personal, get offended easily.

I don't need to grow tough skin. Even the toughest get scars.
Its a stupid idea. That we need to be tough, need to be prepared, need to have resistance. Don"t use someone else's pain so
I forget of my own. Stop trying to invalidate my journey.
Call it easy, say its nothing compared to something.
I don't need these lessons. I don't need you.

I'm full of faults. I could do so much better.
I am trying. I never meant to be ungrateful, but I am tired.
everyday of my life I am tired.
Keeping myself alive is the hardest thing ever.

and i am doing it

Everyday
Everyday

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    ^ Agree, completely. The honesty and vulnerability is what I appreciate so much in poetry and even though I can never fully understand your situation as this is your story, and your unique voice, the connection can be made that we all have faults and struggle with them. How we approach them. How we keep trying and learning how to do more than survive. How we go about the process of healing. Forgiving others and ourselves.

    A personal, touching write. Thanks for sharing, Yaki!

  • 9 years ago

    by Saerelune

    You took honesty and added such vulnerability to it. You took my feelings and worded them beautifully. Thanks for speaking out, for saying the things no one else dares.

    Excuse me for this short comment and just copy pasting the bits I can especially relate to, but I dont have much words to say.

    I never ask for anything, take all the no's.
    respect their space. I make myself highly available, bend my schedule backwards. Forget my needs. But I am still too needy,
    I never listen. Take things too personal, get offended easily.

    Don"t use someone else's pain so
    I forget of my own. Stop trying to invalidate my journey.

    I am trying. I never meant to be ungrateful, but I am tired.
    everyday of my life I am tired.
    Keeping myself alive is the hardest thing ever.

    and i am doing it

    Everyday
    Everyday

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