Inside the lines

by Meme   Feb 15, 2015


Color it blue for the oceans
within me, I failed to swim
anywhere near your shores.

Color it red for your burning
desire, I saw in your haunted
eyes the need to be freed.

Color it white to match the
paleness of my skin, I know
I'm lifeless without you.

Color it black for the demons
that camp within your beautiful
soul when I am not around.

Color me and you -in hues
of grayness- even though
we might never come true.

I know you can't hold the
pencil, I know I can't too.
But please try for us, just
color me and you.

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© Copyright 2015 by: gIrL
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4


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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Meme has used a variety of colours along with metaphors to portray her message inside this write this week, and it worked very well indeed. Each stanza was short and clear, adding an extra point to her story each time. The title was also very creative, as it refers to staying inside the lines of colouring in a picture on paper. The ending was a great way to end, showing that mindset of what the author is really hoping for within the situation.

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment

    The creativity in this piece, taking an old phrase "Color outside the lines" and twisting it into something so much more personal and even more inspiring than the usual optimism as this piece is heartrending while still holding on to a sense of hope that innately lies within all of us. Her use of colors is simple enough to allow each reader to determine the shade for themselves while still being vivid enough to set the scene and tell the story. Meme pours her heart out in a way that most modern poets are afraid of; she writes a universal, well formed, silk-flowing, simple read that still manages to capture its audience. The final stanza especially blows them away.

    • 9 years ago

      by Meme

      I loved your comments, thank you :)

  • 9 years ago

    by PiggyPie

    Really love the last verse. Great job! (:

  • 9 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Congratulations... memo :p

  • 9 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Congratulations... memo :p

    • 9 years ago

      by Meme

      Thanks purvi :)