In the middle of the day
I lie on my bed, trying to die.
When Budapest raped me
Something in my head broke open
And I heard the voice of God -
A prayer to strengthen me but
He was stronger
My drawers are full to bursting
With clothes and books and pens
Of which I can see no use
Because I am made intangible
I surprise myself by crying
Come back to earth by bleeding
Leave traces of myself
It is hard to get anything done
When you do not exist
The future seems exhausting
The now unbearable
And the knowledge that what
You are feeling is not real
No longer helps.
