Darkness (dedicated to No1ButMe Aka Sierra)

You used to live in darkness with me but no longer do because your happy seeing two boyfriends and obviously doesn't need me in your life

I'm very lonely and unstable. I live in a world of darkness and I feel so alone and it's a cold, cruel place to be. Outside it is ordinary and normal, I wear a fake smile and pretend to be happy go lucky. I never made a difference in this world

Voices and music call out to me, the promise of peace and no more hurt I'm assured but it comes at a price. To take my own life. My sister knows of my plan but keeps throwing damnation and the ultimate sin of the holy bible at me. I say God will welcome me with him since my existence here has been nothing but a train wreck for me since the day I was born. I haven't been truly happy since I was 3-5 years of age. It was my grandparents and me, just the three of us in a time period of innocence, the old barrio was both a rough ugly chaotic world but also a beautiful place of hard working people, of magic and stories of my people, of the great priest who singlehandedly faced the prejudice of the white man and gave our barrio hope.

Me, I'm a nobody, a piece of shit.

The voices are calling out to me. I'm getting closer to that peace they promise me.

Please forgive me and let me be your boyfriend and husband. Please don't abandon me and leave me in the cold, darkness, please don't leave me here alone. Please love me and want me as much as I adore, love and want you.