Borderline Suicidal

by Baby Rainbow   Nov 14, 2015


I try to remind myself
that I've seen darker times,
but when thoughts are pounding in my head,
I can't think straight at all,
and I know that seeing the blood trickling
will give me back a touch on reality -
no matter how bleak that may be.

I cry a little.
Then I breathe.

There goes another mistake.

I feel so ashamed,
so I try to keep it a big secret,
but I know the truth always comes out,
and I'm too scared to admit
that I am still doing it.

And I would apologise,
but you won't believe me,
because you just don't understand it
until you become borderline suicidal,
and experience for yourself
what it's like being its victim.

Saffie
24

2/11/15

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by cassie hughes

    Filled with pain and emotion this is a wonderful depiction of someone on the edge.
    'I cry a little, then I breathe' in this short line you have summed up to perfection for me that moment just before blood is drawn. There is a feeling of momentary euphoria until you plunge into regret and self recrimination.

    I love the final stanza too. Be it cutting or attempted suicide, no one knows just how it feels to be in that position unless they have been there themselves.

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