When with You I Lay (Diatelle)

by Meena Krish   Nov 17, 2015


You
a sin
sown within
grabs me and slays,
your soft touch burns my skin
and with each breath and tear I pay;
Killing are the nights when with you I lay
not able to escape your embrace or harsh views,
all the moments gathered up till today
leaves behind a pain of bouquet
and a quivering chin;
Memories, they
just walk in
and pin
you

until it leaves no room for silence...
no room for silence.

The syllable structure of the diatelle is as follows: 1/2/3/4/6/8/10/12/10/8/6/4/3/2/1, but unlike an etheree, has a set rhyme pattern of abbcbccaccbcbba.

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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by William Mae

    Your poetry is beyond beautiful

  • 8 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    When with you I lay (diatelle)
    By Meena Krish (10)

    Delightful read. Forms tend to be a little difficult, especially adhering to the rules is increasingly painful to match. As for subject matter, all I can say is, WOW! I normally don't care for sad poetry but, this poem just had the punch in the gut of memories. Reminds me of Adele's song "hello" for some reason. Wonderful write!

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is so beautifully created, both in wording and in looks, it also shows your talent for poetry and I assume some time went into perfecting this.

    Beautiful message, both inside and out of the form!

  • 8 years ago

    by J Nair

    Congratulations Meena, what a technique. There is so much to learn from you.

    And yes the poem did touch a nerve.
    The flapping of broken wings, the struggle of a trapped prey.

    Thanks for sahring it.

    Jay.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Congratulations, Meena - I knew this was a winner.
    All the best

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