These nights are cold and never ending
as I search for the girl I lost
I tried to deal with my pain in my own way,
And I didn't think about what it would cost.
Your love which once engulfed me
Is now replaced with pain,
As I search for myself repeatedly
Hoping none of this is in vain.
Salty tears and quiet sobs,
I sort through our old things,
Books, papers, and pictures from school,
Remembering conversations after the bell rings.
Memories of laughter,
And happiness and love oh so sweet,
It's hard to think how much I've broken,
How much I've become hurt and beat.
I lost myself at some point,
Not realizing what I was doing
Drowning in my own pain,
And everyone who cared I was only shooing (away)
Too busy dealing with my own,
I couldn't see your pain,
Unwrapped myself up in my own warm blanket,
And left you standing in the rain
Three months later I've taken the call,
Realizing how stupid and reckless I've been,
Trying to find myself once again,
And knowing very well it's a battle I may or may not win.
If I try hard enough I can do it
If not just for you then for me,
I don't even know who this girl is anymore,
But I know she's definitely not who I want to be
