Who have I become

Seeing the change in the face of someone I once knew.
The love has faded, connections lost. Who is this person I see.
You are a house where the wind blows straight through, because no one bothers the crack in the window or lock on the door, the house where people come and go as they please, because you are simply too unimpressed to care. To consumed with self image , and the disconnecting numbness of what you once thought was happiness and joy. letting people in who you really shouldn't let in, and let them walk around for a while, use your bed and use your books, and await the day when they simply get bored and leave. You're still not bothered, though you knew they shouldn't have been let in in the first place, but still you just sit there, apathetic. Lost. Torn. Trapped in your own comfort zone that you and others have built searching hopelessly, like a beggar in the desert. Waiting but unable to change. Believing in hope , just to sabotage the dream yourself. The last house on the block still standing on the outside , but falling apart inside. Maybe the day I finally crumble into pieces and all my supports fail , I will wake up and feel again.