Swan Song

by Wayne Gates   Oct 22, 2016


Sometimes the desire
To escape into sleep
To smother the fire
In my mind runs deep
No zest for living
Have no will to die
Nothing left for giving
Yet still I survive
No relief granted
After hours of rest
Mind is still slanted
Toward ending this test
Creeping towards death
Taking way to long
Labouring with each breath
Singing the final swan song

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Wayne, a very sombre piece with a personal feel to it that many people (including me) will be able to relate to.

    Q1: What a powerful opening and one I can relate to because often I have wanted to sleep and forever especially when life throws so many bad obstacles in the way of me living to the fullest but I have said it often to carry on through bad times show how strong we are.

    Q2: Wow, I really like this part especially the use of the word zest because the meaning I read to make sure is 'with great enthusiasm' and to find another word for that such as this one is fab as it keeps the rhythm flowing nice and smooth. It's hard to comprehend wanting to die and not doing it but still living in this bubble of self loathing and unable to stop it.

    Q3: I felt like this when I woke up today, in fact I said to myself 'come on life throw at me what you will because I may not look ready but I am' and I think that's one of the only things we can do and remember it's a bad day, month or year not a bad life.

    Q4: I like the use of creeping here because it shows how slow time goes when bad things keep happening and though those days go in a blur time seems to drag on forever then some. Also, my favourite line in this piece is 'laboring (I think there's a u missing in the word) with each breath because it shows the reader how tough life has been which is why this has been written. I feel using the swan is significant but I couldn't tell you why.

    All in all a fantastic, emotional piece.
    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Wayne Gates

      Thank you Em. I don't look at it as deeply as you do. I just have a seed of a thought and let the rhythm take me along.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Mightily the Swan sings.

    Well done.