Submission date : 2006-06-12
Last edit : 2006-06-12
Kerry ( F C )
Shes stands on the porch as
he* pick up speeds down the road
I cant do this, i cant be a dad was
all he had told
sixteen and pregnant, alone in this cold place
he packed his bags and only memories showed in his trace.
No more tears left to cry
no more strength left to get up and try!
whats she to do when shes all alone
whats she to tell her baby when shes all up and grown.
Great so far. I give it a 5/5. Alot good images and probably more than enough people probably feel that way no matter what there life is like. In the first stanza try to make it flow better. The rest of the poem flows really well. I hope you finish it soon.
Well done, i would really like to hear the rest of it. Itsa really good keep up the writing.
kayla ( C )
Well done, i would really read the rest of it
Its good.. im going through it.. i like it alot.. no matter what if you look deep inside of you, you will always find the strength, you will find something that will make you keep going and do the best for you and your baby..