Mon elegie

by Dancing Rivers   Sep 23, 2014


Despondent, void, lost,
Bereaved, fatigued and unkeen mon la  vie, etant un surnaturel edifice
Mon coeur etant un elegie
My soul has been emancipated
Eloquently elucidating
Contre monsieur Ryneveldt,
Every syllable coursing through my soul
Languishing my entirety
notre coeurs,a double tranchant
Lame de beautifique paroles
Un Labyrinth a le Mod
Laden with lacerating words of largesse
love, once a magenta madrigal,
Now magnesium, burning hot and bright,
Pourtant etant il un Magnolia
Gentil soie petole un moment, ce nous parole
As we mastered the art of love
In a chaotic flurry of magpie moments
Waking up to a melody of sunrays
Then, at last
Exhausted, fatigued, drained,
We sank with regret into a deep slumber
Our conscious beings, gently nudging
Murmuring of moments that we missed

As we slumbered deeply in a place betwixt
Until at last we could take it no more
And we arose with nostalgia
Remembering days, weeks, years prior
Until we reached a passion, like bright blazing fire
Ce soi rappeler nous de un moment
desireer dans le passe
Le moment quand nous savoir
Nous avoir fonder un amour pareil non autre
Mon �©l�©gie

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  • 9 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Thank you thank you and thank you once again for taking the time to read (attempt) my poem, and for the wonderful review, you've literally just made my day, no, my year, to be honest,I don't know myself if I've used the correct words in the correct context,I literally used a dictionary to write the poem,I don't speak a word of French other than to say, hello, how are you, you're beautiful and I don't have any money, and strangely, the house of plates (don't ask :-P) but thank you so much, I'm forever grateful to you for your wonderful uplifting words :-)

  • 9 years ago

    by Kakera

    Wow. I'm definitely not fit for writing a proper comment, but I can't help it.

    Let's start off by saying that I don't speak a word of french, so a lot of the poem is indeed lost on me by default. But quite frankly, I'm not sure if I need to understand the french.

    The site really needs a make-over, it's absurd that it butchered this poem this badly because it can't handle the input formats. This pisses me off greatly, because what I'm seeing here is an amazingly well-written and elegant poem having its layout butchered completely out of your hands. I'm sorry for this. So, so sorry I cannot truly express it properly in words. Because this will maybe lead to other people losing their pace because of the visual stumbles - and none of it is your fault!

    Now, let's get back to the contents: Like I said, I don't speak a word of french, so many lines are lost to me by default. Some of them I can piece together what they mean roughly on the context alone though, and that's enough for me personally.

    The reason I wanted to write this comment despite not understanding every line (and the site, to my great frustration, wrecking the visual layout), I felt that I didn't have to. I wrote this before.

    Now let me tell you why: This poem is Elegant, and me not understanding every word does not matter because the ones that I do prove it to me.

    And maybe that makes it even more important to stress how magnificent this is: I don't understand the words, yet I feel them.

    "Every syllable coursing through my soul"

    Just like that. This poem dances in my mind when I read it; your wide vocabulary and amazingly impressive precision when it comes to knowing where to put each word to make the flow turn into music on its own, and like any other music, I need not know all the words for my soul to Hear the Song.

    It's extremely vivid! And even more so, it's extremely elegant! Wow!

    I really want to read this one more time but without the layout butchered by the site itself. Because this poem dances elegantly - vividly - and passionately, "like bright blazing fire", and I can repeat this a thousand times: even though I'm lost on some of the words - your writing excels in its elegant rhythm, and it truly is music of the soul.

    The flow from your own writing is flawless. Every word feels perfectly placed, and it dances perfectly on its own.

    Simply... Amazing.

    • 9 years ago

      by Dancing Rivers

      I've finally drawn up the energy to edit the poem, hope you like it :-)