T e m p s ( F P C D )
at 2009-07-05
Presenting a dance.. that was interesting. I was expecting you to say show or something.. but dance really made me say wow this is brilliant. Great work.. definatly fits in with the Fourth of the July. Beautiful poem written about Fireworks.
5/5.
Maya ( F P C D )
at 2009-07-06
Ah, fourth of July...I so love the idea of sitting on the summer grass and watching the fireworks explode...I hope to one day witness this myself:)
Good job on this, it made me want to see it!
*hugs*
5/5 Ingrid
Colm Ace of Trumps ( F P C D )
at 2009-07-09
Nice write about an unusual topic.
Flames erupt with excitement - This was my favourite line, so full of movement and energy and it really personified the fireworks. One thing I would have liked to have seen is a reference to colour, as fireworks are natuarlly colourful and bright, it would be a good description. But having said that, it was a senyru, and therefore impossible to mention everything. You did a good job on the form and I wouldnt change anything except maybe expand on it a little by making it a double senryu. But good work, an interesting little read.
Colm
soso ( F C D )
at 2009-07-09
Another tiny magical poem from you, with few words you gave Fireworks a very nice poetic definition.
Nicely penned, Mary.
Lonely Rider ( F P C D )
at 2009-07-10
Lovely description... specially loved how you have picturised it as a dance... beautifully penned... :)
Dirctly Implied ( F C D )
at 2009-07-10
Imagery was fiery and well done . Short forms sometimes leave the poem weak but this was strong in vision
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