Alone and unloved

  • Angel
    11 years ago

    I had a boyfriend named Justus. And i loved him more than anything. i thought he loved me back. he would say it. and talk about our life when we graduate and i even met his dad. i guess it was all for nothing. you think i'd realize by now that no guy will ever stay with me or love me. thats what you'd think. well i thought he was different. and i really did love him. we were together for 10 months. but today he broke up with me. i've been crying all day. i've gone back to cutting and i doubt i'll be able to really eat anything for a while. who knows if i'll make it to my graduation. or even my birthday. all i know is that he left me. without any warning. but i dont hate him. i really dont. i'm just heartbroken now that hes gone. but i still love him. but hearing how he was acting after he broke up with me is what hurt the most. some friends of mine said he was happy. and now i feel as if i was just his charity project and that he never really loved me. i just wish he would have done it to my face rather than send me the message saying we're over. he even said after that " i hope we can still be friends if you dont hate me too much" i'll still be friends if i can but i dont think i'll ever get over this. i miss him and i love him. seeing him at school is going to be so hard now. i dont know what to do

  • La Reina De Corazones
    11 years ago

    The hell the freaking jerk!!! my gosh... i think i got dumped Angel so we are in the same boat except you cutted i almost went overboard in my meds lol i took twice i should take for the depression lol sorry i find this amusing to me since i am NOT a fan of pills but the pain i knew was coming was wonderful i took it...anyhow babe you know you can call me or email me or whatever! you know you can trust me so dont' worry will be here when you need me girl! :) love ya Angel!

  • Crimson
    11 years ago

    Its ok angel we are here for you i got dumped well i dumped him because i was insecure and i got scared now hes going out with ex best friend i love him so much still we went out for 1 year and 4 months how can he forget me so easy... i have also gone back to cutting and not eating if you wanna talk i'm always here

  • Angel
    11 years ago

    Thanks. its jsut so damn hard. he wouldnt even look at me when we passed eachother in the hall. it hurts and it kills me . how hes acting like i dont exist. hes off laughing around with my friends and going on like he always does. the only difference is that i'm not with him. i love him and i miss him. i cant stop crying. i need him. i cant eat i cant sleep i dont wanna live anymore. i need him i love him i dont hate him. i was talking with his brother today and he said i should talk to him. thats what he's waiting for. he's waiting for me to talk to him. but i dont know how. all my friends are saying hes a coward or a duche and even one of the teachers kind of got in his face and told him he was a coward. in front of alot of people. and he just walked away. no one will tell me why he broke up with me. his brother said to ask him but im too scared that he'll say he never really loved me and i was only his charity project. i dont knwo what the hell to do. i cant stop crying. im breaking apart and its killing me...

  • Poet on the Piano
    11 years ago

    I'm sorry this happened Angel, I can't imagine someone so close and someone who's probably been by your side for so long just ended it. I've never been in a situation like this, have never been in love and I know I will never be able to understand....if you don't mind, I'd just like to say there's always someone there for you- even if you don't see them yet or have yet to meet them. I'm sure it will take much time and years to move on, but God will help you. Just don't give up on life.....maybe someday he'll realize your love and appreciate it all that more. Some things can't be explained. I can tell just from what you wrote you're hurting a lot, and who wouldn't be? Don't doubt that you won't ever be able to talk to him about this. When the moment's right, ask him and hopefully he'll tell you and it will help heal, if there's a real reason. Breathe. Give it time, then let him know this wasn't a joke that you really loved him. Take one step at a time- I'm here for you if you ever need anything.

  • Angel
    11 years ago

    Thanks. thats what alot of my friends and teachers are saying. i admit that i fell away from God a bit but i know i need to go to him. i'm going to try and talk to Justus on tuesday but i'm having my friend with me in case i cry or cuss him out but i dont know. i dont hate him i still love him i just want to knwo why he ended it

  • Angel
    11 years ago

    Thanks. thats what alot of my friends and teachers are saying. i admit that i fell away from God a bit but i know i need to go to him. i'm going to try and talk to Justus on tuesday but i'm having my friend with me in case i cry or cuss him out but i dont know. i dont hate him i still love him i just want to knwo why he ended it

  • Crimson
    11 years ago

    Yeah if he doesnt give you a reason then just keep asking if maybe you can fix it hopefully he will see how bad of a mistake he made

  • Beautiful Chaos
    11 years ago

    Life happens, guys are jerks, girls too sometimes, why obsess over someone who doesn't deserve you? I know because it comes with the age and mind set, but believe me another will come along who will appreciate you. Only took me 35 years to find one lol Enjoy the scenery and leave him behind you, use it as a lesson, learn and move on.

  • Angel
    11 years ago

    I'm always going to love him. i only talk to him becuase i still have hope that he may still want me. i miss him so much. ya he gives me hugs a bit now buti miss how he would hold me in his arms or how we'd hold hands while we walk to our lockers during passing period... i just miss the way we were