Sunrise

I think i have always escaped from this world by reading books and mostly fiction. Most of my youth i fooled myself with books which spun romance and goodness, so much that i come across as a person from fairly land. i have been ridiculed for being a believer of love.

Now i feel lonely and lost and cant pretend or hide in my bubble. facing the world and its practical ways are very tiring.

Constant feeling of giving up this meaningless struggle a charade that i carry on called life- in which none of the things i do actually matters to me or excites me.

But yet again i wake up each morning and go about doing the same thing again and again...

I've been getting back into video games, which was the right decision, (finally )

Thinking about being with him has got me through recently

Finally loving myself...being proud of who I have become.

I have dark days, really dark here lately....

But I've fought so damn hard to find my inner strength that no amount of darkness will stop me from breathing....

I write my depression these days.... Im not ashamed to express my depression anymore....now I realise what fuels me and I encourage others to do the same.

What have I found...
That others have felt as much anguish as I have and have come out the other side, alive and whole. If others can do it, I can too. I am not the first person to lose the thing I love most.