Why is it such a common human issue that when we're given happiness...we panic? I've been thinking about this a lot lately and it's an oddly fascinating reaction.
I've been in a long line of bad and abusive relationships, my last one having lasted 8 years of mental and emotional tearing apart and abuse. My current relationship though...I've never experienced anything like it. He knows quite a bit about my past, I may not have been totaly upfront with him about it yet but he's aware of it, and juct accepts me the way I am. Patient, loving, kind, understanding, supporting and steady. He knows I've been sexually abused so he's always sure to make sure to remind me I have a choice about absolutely everything in my life and what I choose he'll go with no matter the topic. When I have a panic attack over things feeling like they're going too fast (although any movement can seem too fast some days) he just patiently waits, reminding me he loves me, till I work through it as is my way.
My point though is that he's incredible. Great with my autistic brother and always is respectful. But I find myself panicking that he's so good and that he makes me so happy. How happy I am honestly makes me want to run as fast and far away from him as I can because he and the feelings he causes scare me in the extreme. That he makes me dream about a family, kids, getting married and a happy future terrifies me.
Why is it that happiness can terrify us so much? It's a fascinating and ridicious knee jerk reaction
Happiness is scary because we simply think it won't last, and as the ecstasy fades away, more intensive pain will wreck us...
For a person who's been through difficult times, it's very normal to feel like this.
Ease your mind, it's quite different and once you find safe, genuine love and mutual care in a balanced relationship, all of these concerns will diminish.
I guess that you both are correct. When you've become used to unhappiness or being treated a certain way in relationships happiness comes to just stand for a fleeting thing that comes just before everything gets worse again. It probably is the fear of losing it.
It is quite an odd thing though, we as humans want to be happy and when we find it...all I want to do is run the other way haha Hopefully he'll wait for me to come to terms with my fears and demons and for me to relax. Such an odd situation
Happiness is a scary emotion because when it fades or simply stops we never know what to do or what to expect! Also the thought that nothing lasts forever is always at the back of our mind-perhaps through experience and lessons taught it stops us from smiling too much at the same time it stops us from living a happy life and be cautious! But you know live life to the fullest for its better to have lived then never lived at all!
You have an understanding guy with you, treasure it at the same time don't be too over cautious or over confident. Take it day by day you will be fine dear :)
Just my 2 cents but happiness can be scary for a few reasons
1). The whole issue with trust. Have others betrayed our happiness or have we relied on others for it before finding it first for ourselves?
2). Accepting the fact you deserve to be happy.
3). Making sure it's the right kind of happiness, not a temporary one but a permanent, healthy kind.
4). Choosing happiness and a positive attitude even when happiness seems unattainable.
There is no happiness without sadness. One cannot exist without the other. You wouldn't know you were sad, unless you once felt happy. And you wouldn't know you were happy unless you once felt sad. Embrace them both equally and you will eventually find balance.
Life is full of happiness and sadness and sometimes things get so bad that we cannot ever imagine being happy again. If you let yourself get too hung up on finding happiness it becomes more illusive. If instead you make up your mind to do give up looking for it and instead do your best to make other people happy and try and find humour in the small things then you find that suddenly happiness grows. It still comes and goes like the waves on the sea but the more kind deeds and good thoughts that you give out into the world then I believe the more happiness fills your heart and you find it in so many more places.
Adding to previous post. Anything new is scary not just happiness. Many of us are terrified of making mistakes or doing the wrong thing, taking a chance etc and love can be scary especially in the beginning when you are both just finding out about each other. If you have any doubts about future happiness just take your time there is no rush.
Relationships come and go all of them take some working out because no one is perfect. Loving someone is loving them despite their faults and not being able to imagine your life without them.
In short I believe that the recipe for a happy marriage is reliant on respect trust, love, compromise and good honest communication
As humans we feel more towards hatred, jealousy and the bed traits i feel so when something good and new to us like feeling happy comes along we don't know how to control it and although it may feel good and makes us go gaga it can make us feel strange because there's not alot of it about nowadays.