How do you...

  • Em
    7 years ago

    Hi everyone, this will probably sound really sad and maybe cliched but I was wondering how you guys made friends as I am really shy because of my past, bullying and abuse so always been put down and really scared of being judged but I just want to make friends in real life not just online... I haven't been out much in over 6 months because I am a shell of myself apart from work but I need to do this, I want to do this!! Thanks in advance.

  • Golden AnGel Rhapsodist
    7 years ago

    Go out Em. .. buy a nice pair of shoes that can bring you anywhere. .. Shopping shopping shopping. .. treat yourself girl ...you worth it.... its a stress reliever... don't locked yourself. ...life is beautiful. ..read inspirational book by Mr. Jack Canfield and your will see life differently. .. Cheer up. .. I'm just here. ...BFF

  • Em
    7 years ago

    Thank you Gel. I am going to a tribute Bowie act on Saturday with mum and guess what I intend om buying new shoes lol.

    I will tale a look at that boom, thanks my dear friend

  • Golden AnGel Rhapsodist
    7 years ago

    Well that's good to know ...and buy new dress also hahaha :D

  • Em
    7 years ago

    I dont wear dresses often but I shall but a new top and jeans, maybe ;)

  • Golden AnGel Rhapsodist
    7 years ago

    Aha.....more on darker color Em...then send me your pic after. .

  • Em
    7 years ago

    I will lol

  • Melpomene
    7 years ago

    Hey Em, social situations can make me nervous too. Sometimes it's easier to make friends online due to the fact that you you're on those sites to share a common interests. Take PnQ for example, many people have made friends here due to their love for writing and poetry. My advice to you would be to just spend time in places that you enjoy. Other people will be there for the same reason and you never know what conversation may come up. Some of my closest friendships have started due to a mutual love of something. In my case it's a love of the arts and teaching. Just keep in mind that you don't have to have all of the same interests either. I'm sure friendships will pop up when you least expect them to, they generally always do.

  • Em
    7 years ago

    Thank you so much for your advice. I guess you are right I need to concentrate on finding mutual ground and stop being afraid of being judged as not everybody is the same.
    Thanks again :)

  • Azrael replied to Em
    7 years ago

    Just be you, you don't have to be someone you are not. Sometimes a simple smile is enough to open a conversation. Just remember people who are judging you should make sure their affairs are in order. Most times they are making up for their own weaknesses. Growing up I was bullied, picked on, and a loner. But of those people who use to make fun of me, I do not see any of them anymore. Keep your head up and enjoy the view of life, you miss too much when your head is down.

  • Em replied to Azrael
    6 years ago

    Thank you for your lovely reply

  • Milly Hayward
    6 years ago

    Hi Em,
    I find just saying hello to people with a smile opens up a dialogue. I used to be painfully shy, like you bullied a lot at school. I found by pretending to be confident for long enough I suddenly found I was confident. I found joining clubs I got to meet people, there might be local writing groups or other groups of interest. Practice small like talking to shop assistants then build up to people you are sat next to on a bus or in a shop - the worst that can happen is they ignore you the best that they sit and chat to you. I think that poets tend to be sensitive creative people who care about other people so you are in the right place to make friends right here. Take care of yourself and take little steps and you will find your confidence and your circle of friends grow. Milly x

  • Milly Hayward
    6 years ago, updated 6 years ago

    Sorry duplicate post