Weekly Contest Winners - January 30th, 2017

I have to post this in multiple posts due to character limits imposed on posting.

New site, new week – we had a couple of issues during this week’s contest but we were able to overcome most of them. I want to take a second to say thank you to the judges for all of your hard work, and being patient during all of this, I know the new site can be a bit daunting to get used to it, and given the issues that you had during the judging, it really is appreciated! Next week’s contest should go much smoother for the judges. This week’s winners are Rania with her wonderful poem “Sour Poems’, “Whiskey in the Well”, a beautiful English sonnet written by Ben and the site broke a tie between Meena’s “Looking past my wants” and Andrea’s “Cassiopeia’s Dreaming”, awarding Meena with the win.

Also, there is an extra set of comments, the judge was unable to vote due to a couple of site bugs, confusion between the mods and judges but I’m including them as bonus comments!

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Winners
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Sour Poems by Rania Molleam (4 pts + 10 pts + 10 pts)
Whiskey In The Well (English sonnet) by Ben Pickard (10 pts + 7 pts)
Looking past my wants (Tri-fall) by Meena Krish (10 pts + 4 pts)

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HMs
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Cassiopeia Dreaming by Maple Tree (7 pts + 7 pts))
My Crown by Yakori bint Muhammed (4 pts + 7pts)
Fickle Hieroglyphs - by Ben Pickard (10 pts)
Apathy by Aegis (7 pts)
You're at the end of a rainbow by Jamie (4 pts)
The Bed’s Not Lonely Anymore by BlueJay (4 pt)

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Sour Poems by Rania Molleam
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This poem could be many things, but two stand out to me more than any others: the poet as Esmeralda - driven to dance in order to create and the poet as Carmen, dancing the tragedy of her existence. As with the dancing gypsy in the Hunchback, the dancer here creates illusions of beauty (Pass those soft feet / across the filthy floor / till you bleed / the metaphors / and similes / you keep hidden / in your head.) As with the doomed Carmen, the poet has no belief in her own substance (You are nothing – / merely made of / sour letters / mixed emotions / and bitter eerie words / playing under your bed). In truth the poet bleeds her heart into words which are far more powerful and meaningful than she allows herself to accept. (10 pts)

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(Please forgive me for what I’m about to say because it’s very cheesy, but sometimes cheese is good). What do you do when life gives you lemons? You make lemonade! (again I’m so sorry)

Rania’s decision to make the reader the subject of the poem is a powerful one that sets the tone for this narrative; you feel the weight of every verse more intensely. (It’s quite possible, the poem may have been written for herself or directly for someone). The concept of bleeding is one the key imagery of literature that utilizes ‘the abject’ in an attempt to create horror/drear/darkness, but Rania expands on this by wishing the subject of the poem bleeds their metaphors, similes in addition to their blood, it’s a nice breath of poetry into a staple imagery.
The way this poem ends is absolutely enticing; it makes me wonder if there is a sequel to this poem. The idea of a very angry bird seems purposeful. (10 pts)

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The poem is written in a way that feels the narrator is speaking to him/herself. It comes off as a self reflecting poem while at the same time it gives room to picture the narrator speaking to someone else. It's filled with a wonderful imagery. Also these lines caught my eye:

"You are nothing –

merely made of
sour letters
mixed emotions
and bitter eerie words"

It's an interesting write to say the least. Well written. The words seem to transition smoothly from stanza to stanza. (4 points)

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Whiskey In The Well (English sonnet) by Ben Pickard
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There is something healing about writing, but with this healing there can be a destruction that lays beneath the balm that the writer liberally applies. It is like covering an infection in the hope that this will cure, instead the poison festers and so kills the patient.

I believe this writer is alluding to this phenomenon, or at least a flavour of this. Writing sonnets is perhaps a form that forces the writer to ‘dig deep’ into the ‘well’ of emotional resources. The deeper he digs the emotions he finds are raw and often rotten.

Each line that’s ‘bled’ sums up how writing can send you spiralling out of control; add to this ‘whiskey’ and there you have it a recipe for an unpleasant time. But, how can we as writers not release our stories from behind the scenes? We either give a little; knowing that to give more would indeed make us ‘sacrificial lambs’ or leave caution to the wind, and like this writer allow us lucky readers to have it all, blood, guts and eventually a death on our sorry conscience.

We as writers are vulnerable and as much as this ‘new looking’ site has changed, our needs have not. Be kind and be there for one another – these walls maybe papered differently, but the heart of this site still beats the same and needs the same warmth to keep the fire burning. (10 pts)

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The sacrifice of a poet creating is here likened (even trivialized) to the price of the whiskey used to get the juices going (How can we love or even start to trust / A verse that leaves us lighter in the purse?). In reality, the poet is describing the emotional cost of baring his soul (With pens that scribble magic as a curse, / And words that cut the writer to the bone). Yet the poet must give his work over to the creative genius (Unquenchable is ev'ry poet's thirst - / A sacrificial lamb upon the stone). In the final analysis, poetry is only for those willing to lose themselves, even to accept dying a bit with each poem (Do not expect to cast a magic spell / Without the water leaking from the well). (7 pts)

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Looking past my wants (Tri-fall) by Meena Krish
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Although I don't have the time to give too detailed an explanation for my choices this week, all I will say is that I enjoyed this piece thoroughly. The form is interesting and one I hadn't heard of and the rhyme scheme is well executed with some marvellous imagery thrown in for good measure. I particularly liked the idea of 'loyal ink' turning 'cold blue'. Very good poem indeed. (10 points)

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Hushed desperation crying to be said aloud, convinced that even then it will not be heard (So much to say to you / yet I can't / ... / somehow I wish you knew / my hushed wants / instead I look away and yearn). The analogy of loyal ink turning cold blue alludes to blockage, an interruption of the free flow of emotions. Indeed the words (ink) that would normally suggest endearment and nurturing burn the page (leaf) on which they are written. Even the aspirations (dreams) devour her soul for the knowledge they will never find fulfillment. (4 pts)

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Cassiopeia Dreaming by Maple Tree
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Cassiopeia is a constellation that looks a little like a wonky letter ‘W’ in the Northern sky. As beautiful as I find stars, I find the mythology more intriguing. Cassiopeia was a queen of Aethiopia and processed unrivalled beauty.

Cassiopeia along with Andromeda was placed in the sky as a punishment by Poseidon all because she boasted that her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than the Nereids or, alternatively, that she herself was more beautiful than the sea nymphs. Wikipedia

This writer begins with longing to be a ‘silhouette’ of this constellation. But, she cannot, for it is ‘forbidden’ – Life is like that, our dreams, wishes and wants are often too far away; just like those stars and so remain out of reach, forever forbidden for mortals to touch.

Gazing up though makes us dream – ‘what if I were that beauty, that grace above, revealed each night teasing spectators with beauty that cannot be compared, or touched! As I write this, I muse that being in a marriage must feel similar, being viewed by others as a beauty, but like the stars, they are forbidden to touch.

If I were in such a relationship where others could only sing about my glory, perhaps, I too would wish for ‘the loneliness to end’ for my star to fall and be touched once more? (7 pts)

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What can I say? Maple Tree has a natural way of writing and weaving metaphors within her free verse style of writing. This poem is fascinating. The longing and the wishful feeling overtake me as I read between the lines. In particular, these lines caught my eye:

"To be a paramount that shapes the universe
with beauty and grace,
leaving spectators in awe of it's presence."

The poem could be taken as a metaphor for what Maple Tree would like to become or as the title suggest the dreams that Cassiopeia had. In other words, the narrator of the poem is Cassiopeia and not necessarily Maple. Thanks for sharing. (7 points)

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My Crown by Yakori bint Muhammed
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The fact this piece starts with a ‘Turkish rug’ really appealed to me. I was transported immediately to a Turkish destination, like Cappadocia. There I would sit upon my rug and join this writer, in her room, and be at one with my thoughts. High above this timeless landscape the meditation would begin.

We have all been there, trying to hold inside ‘steaming emotions’ interesting the use of the word ‘steaming’ this, to me suggests anger that is at this moment in time unresolved. But here on this rug, on this ‘serene’ day, it is somehow not the time, or place to be angry. So there the clouds fight the blue in a battle of supremacy. There is work to be done on this rug before the day is through.

I like the term of phrase ‘heart stringing a face’ to me it suggests waves of emotions telling on a face by a grimace there, a frown here and generally a journey of time lines or strings. Gradually deep thought leads to healing and realisation that there is still hope while the sun shines. A day may have passed, but if the birds can sing then a soul can heal a ‘cut core’ and her ‘crown’ can be serene once more. (4 pts)

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A beautifully crafted little piece here that fascinated me the first time I read it and continued to amaze through to the third time!
I have never been one to meditate...but why would you need to when you can read a work as calming and serene as this? Lovely. (7 points)

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The word choice is very elegant and precise,
it made everything vivid and visual.

This piece tends to be a short novel hiding behind
this little piece. I really love each single line,
some phrases got me stuck, and some were flowing
like water.

Very deep and descriptive. Well done (BONUS COMMENT)

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Fickle Hieroglyphs - by Ben Pickard
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I love the lines, "let's write our love in hieroglyphs and paint our souls across the skies." They sounds so dreamy like.
Also, I interpret the first line as no one but the lovers would be able to understand the full meaning of the symbols. It's somehow romantic. The entire poem hints that the narrator of the poem is an angel - "but should the strings come loose or fray, I'll dice these wings forever more." But is the narrator (angel) speaking to another angel? Or is the angel speaking to a mortal? These were the questions that came to mind.

Regardless of, the angel wants to cement their love. My assumption is that he/she wants to strengthen it. Awesome piece of writing. (10 points)

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Apathy by Aegis
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It's a beautiful weird 'Apathetic' poem.

I was intrigued by the personality writing this poem
and by the character this poem was written about.

Vague and deep. That's how I would describe this piece.

The mix of words and place-settings is always my favorites,
I tend to do this as well, and commonly find it interesting
when words are combined in this sense.

Well done (BONUS COMMENT)

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Aegis’s use of imagery is extraordinary, and this poem further cements it. The last stanza
“You're splashing in the very
same puddles I've been
drowning in.”
reads in a very introspective manner which solidifies the theme of apathy in this poem. (7 pts)

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You're at the end of a rainbow by Jamie
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This poet often intrigues me by his choice of words and the drama he manages to include in what are often very short pieces of poetry.
Here we are thrust straight into the 'action' and the poet wastes no time telling us the advantages of this love that he has found that has thawed his 'algid interior'.
What I particularly liked was that - at a glance - the idea and language used is almost aggressive and intimidating. The idea of falling into a fiery embrace is not what you'd necessarily associate with salvation...but by the end, you realise the writer has found it. (4 points)

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The Bed’s Not Lonely Anymore by BlueJay
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The title seemed typical for me, and that got me interested
to read and explore what this title has behind.

and TADA! I can't praise what I loved about this piece
without borrowing its lines, for instance,

we shake into an
avalanche only now

^ what an image.

Everything changes and love is the father
of change. It doesn't have to change in a way
that is strange to us. But there is no person who
had love spilled over them and hadn't change ... (BONUS COMMENT)

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I love the imagery of the avalanche; it feels like it was placed there deliberately and a lot of thought went into the decision of choosing that specific word in that specific spot. I’m not sure why, but I’m really drawn to it – it proves just how powerful and enticing short writes can be. (4 pts)

Well, congrats everyone, This was one hell of an awesome week! First with changes on the site then with such diversely fantastic writes! Great!

Also thank you judge for the comment on my piece - believe it or not, it was a partial blackout poem... sorta.

Congrats to all the front page winners and HM's, beautiful work all the way around

Congrats to the winners, first poets to grace the new front page! I love all the choices made.

Thanks, Mark, for posting.

Congrats winners and hm's.

I thought the posting in a different post was done with the purpose so that anyone could comment directly on the paticular judge comment. Hehe but nevermind.

Thank you to the judges for their lovely comments and time and thank you to Mark for hosting.

Many congratulations to the other poems highlighted this week.

All the best

First off thank you judges for your time and patience! With all the changes in the site I know
it has been hectic! Nonetheless you guys did it!

Congratulations Raina and Ben on the win and congrats to all the HM's!!
Thank you judges for the comments on my poem...I did not think it would make it...

Mark thank you so much for hosting and you are a real life saver!

Congratulations to everyone!!!!

Thank you judges for the lovely comments!!

Considering the new construction that is going around, diggers here, hard hats there, and scaffold boards around every corner, I think we pulled this out of the bag! Go team PnQ's!!!

Michael, I agree entirely. I think the site's going to be just fine.

Mark thanks for posting, judges thanks for hosting.

Well done all winners and HMs I still cannot fathom out how to find the nominates poems.. HELP!!

click the top far right - your page will reveal itself - here you can see the nominations.