... writing some lyrics for a song ...

  • Inner Phiz
    6 years ago

    Hello,

    I'm writing some lyrics for a song and I want to put few quotes by well known men but I needed to re-phrase them for good "scanning" with the music. Not being a native English speaker, I always feel unsure about the linguistic/meaningful correctness. So an English speaker's advice is most welcome to possible corrections. Here the few lines already made my way:

    Joy is inside us, it's
    not inside things. (Richard Wagner)
    Break a kaleidoscope and
    surprise your mind,
    no fancy shapes but just
    broken glass you'll find. (Francis Church)
    Beautiful rainbows
    do you think you'll see
    if looking down? No,
    in the sky they'll be. (Charlie Chaplin)

  • silvertung69 replied to Inner Phiz
    1 year ago

    The only thing that snaged my reading it was the first line,
    It comes out like it's missing something like our joy or all joy, maybe even. joy forms inside us all .... I don't know i hope it helps .. Tlee