Weekly Contest - May 22nd, 2017

The site randomly broke a tie between Andrea's "Cracked Houses" and "Backtracing" by Satish Verma. Happy Victoria Day to my fellow Canadians, and the few Scots that celebrate it. :) Without further ado, here are the results!
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Winners
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Dystopia by Ether 28: 4 points + 4 points + 10 points + 10 points
Your dancing is my Epilepsy - by Ben Pickard – 17 10 points + 7 points
Cracked Houses by Maple Tree 14- 7 points + 7 points

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HMs
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Backtracking by Satish Verma 14- 10 points + 4 points
Confession by nourayasmine 10 points
NaPoWriMoff12 - by hiraeth 8 points - 4 points + 4 points
The Sun's forgiving rays - by Ben Pickard - 7 points
Till I Don't Trip and Fall by Everlasting 7 points

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Dystopia by Ether
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I had to read this piece a few times before I could really make sense of it, and I think that was part of the enjoyment with it. Because each time I finished I sat for a while and contemplated another meaning or envision a new scene. In my head I kept coming back to a scene of a very old couple both dying of different things and trying to comfort each other without even really realizing the other one was there... I don't know my mind is weird, but it was beautiful despite the sorrow. And I think that is the great thing about this poem, it is able to be so many different things and even though the title gives it one tone the piece itself is really rather neutral so each of us can fall in love with it in our own ways. And I love how the entire piece referenced travel, from "drawing a map" to "drowning" in the end each line possessed a new element of truth and the unknown pieced together so creatively. (4 points)

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undesirable ..spooky..and abandoned tite.

What an eerie, and dark poem. There is power
in this little piece, power in the main character
(the 1st person) and so much power over
the target-persona.

I think the last verb in the last line
needs a tense shift, but other than that
the poem is deep and very dark.

I am fond of the creepy emotions
it triggered in me as I read it over again.

Well written. (4 points)

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A great topic for a poem. I love well written poems like this, totally captivating deep poem, It’s almost like you’ve drawn the parameters and then it’s up to the reader to interpret what’s inside, or was that intentional. While reading all the poems this week this was the one that I kept coming back to. The last line is a killer and draws the whole piece together. Great write ! (10 points)

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“i promise to draw you a map of your mind,
so that you will never be lost in it again”

A superb opening stanza; both its brevity and imaginative nature provide a compelling welcome to the overall piece. The conceptual element of a figure roaming aimlessly through one’s own mind - lost amidst the caves and pathways, but now with a map to guide their return to reality. It’s quite an intriguing image.

The poem features another interesting image - “no creative flow … stagnant, carbonated sea”; this, along with the title of the poem referencing dystopia, brings about quite an - shall we say, forced existence. Everything is as you are told, no creativity, and by the time you are so wholly engulfed “you won’t even remember how to drown”, never mind think for yourself.

Excellent write! (10 points)

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Your dancing is my Epilepsy by B.W. Pickard
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A stunning piece Ben, with words as always that are full of emotion and good descriptive imagery.
This poem touches my Heart. It is a beautiful poem. (1o points)

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Another poem this week with a beautiful, though poignant, opening with the poet/narrator comparing their body with a flask, their humanity leaking out. Within the first stanza we also are presented the image of the whites of fingernails as kindling, fingertips fully aflame - quite a brilliant picture, despite the poem’s gloomy shell.

The second stanza, a list of contrasts, apart from the opening of comparisons, presents the true difficulties the poet is facing - all the good for one person breeds the poet’s pain and suffering.

And yet, perhaps there is some elegance beyond the hurt, as we see in the close -

“You will never know -

ever -

just how beautiful it is here.”

A wonderful poem from Ben this week! (7 points)

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Cracked Houses by Maple Tree
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Very catchy and interesting title,
the imagery is beautiful and spot-on.

The word choice has some connection
with the writer herself, you can see some
of the character in the words chosen.

But that has nothing to do with the sadness
in this piece, but with the magic in the words
combined to make it.

I was blown away with this part;
handprints become reminders
of the shadows that live there,
empty stomachs become hollow
shells.

^stunning. (7 points)
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I’m sometimes hesitant to put pen to thoughts when interpreting another’s work, but through your strong visual imagery I see your social conscience shining through, and your desire to help those less fortunate only to be rejected. A strong well written poem from beginning to “I’m the enemy” which is a great way to end and for me defines the poem (7 points)

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Backtracking by Satish Verma
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While I feel like there are a lot of powerful emotions bubbling beneath the surface this piece feels relatively and remarkably calm. I think that was important in balancing all the harshness of this piece out though. Especially since the title plays such an important role in clarifying what this piece is getting at without any specific incidents or names. There are countless instances of contrast and balance within this piece, which really, is what I feel is the selling point of this piece this week. It is elegant and thought provoking while still having voice and fire. Everything about this one is just so captivating, especially when you break down how precisely stunning each stanza is on it's own as well as within the entire poem. Great write, definitely my favorite this week. (10 points)

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A visually stimulating poem. I like the contrast between man and nature. I think you are one of the most underrated poems on P&Q. your poems deserve more exposure. Yes they are deep but if you delve into them they are full of hidden treasure. Well done (4 points)

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Confession by nourayasmine
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What a wonderful heartbreaking poem.
I was carried out with the simple structure
and the narrative tone.

There is so much to this life that we miss
without being able to understand why and what
is going to happen to use.

However, sometimes life surprises you
with a great reward for our belief
and patience.

Hope this love is fullfilled without a long wait
and regret.

Really touched. Thanks for sharing. (10 points)

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NaPoWriMo #12 by hireath
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A clever write by hiraeth, and a poem with a strong and appropriate message for these times when the whole worlds population seems to moving to foreign lands. Well done hiraeth! (4 points)
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Man, this week really was a week for the powerful openings in poetry as we are confronted immediately with the strong image of women seeking refuge from the danger at home. And the poem fully encapsulates the strength it takes for someone to leave behind what they know for somewhere strange, but hopefully a place to start anew safe.

The close - an analysis of the self - let’s one delve into the poet’s ability to grasp for renewed strength and perhaps also courage when they feel without such in hardship.

I really appreciated this poem; it packed a forceful message in its short breadth. Well done! (4 points)

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The Sun's forgiving rays by B.W Pickard
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This is a sad poem with rhyming that is spot on! The story within it is hopeful of forgiveness and is beautifully written and deserves a place here in this competition. Well done Ben! (7 points)

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Till I Don't Trip and Fall by Everlasting
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This piece describes how so many writers and artists feel about their craft, but it also describes so many people living day to day in their lives - and I love that connection. At first it almost felt like someone who was drunk stumbling home after one lightbulb type of thought and that was a fun scene to play with. Then I read it again and it felt like someone just struggling to make the day something worth living. And ultimately I read this piece without any sort of scenes or meaning other than the overwhelming sense of accomplishing something and that mere hope/eventual achievement was all it took to get out of bed in the morning or to try whatever it was again day in and day out. Greatly penned and so glad I found this piece this week!
(7 points)

Congratulations to all the front page winners & HM's! Amazing writes all around-

Well done one and all, very well deserved wins and HM's as always the standard was impeccable.

Regards

Craig

Something about the depth of the comments this week is a notch above normal, maybe just to me, but they all feel just as engaging as this weeks poems. So thank you for that judges!

As for all of you poets noticed this week, wonderful job!

Congrats to all!

Congrats to the Front Pagers and the HMs. Thanks judges and Mark

A genuine thanks to the judges for their time and insightful comments and also, congratulations to everyone who has been highlighted this week.

Ben

Thanks guys, very unexpected to see me on the front page. I only just logged in to see it now. I'm most impressed by the feedback in the comments this week, very detailed and thought out. Thank you thank you thank you judges for the time taken to read and write, I appreciate it and will apply the critique in future. Well done again to everyone.

edit: I also agree with the comment about Satish being one of the most underrated poets here. Always a pleasure reading the nominated poems and this week was no exception.

^^

I agree entirely in regards to Satish Verma. He quietly goes about his business and turns out some wonderful poetry daily.

Congratulation to everyone.
agreed about Satish Verma

Congratulations to Everyone!!

Thank you judges for your comments... truly appreciate them.

Congratulations to all! Appreciate the judges and a big thank you to Mark, for posting!

Congratulations all