weekly contest 27 Nov 2017

  • Larry Chamberlin
    9 months ago, updated 9 months ago

    Children draw together lives and also the poems on the front page. Paul’s stark depiction of society’s outcast homeless who are “somebody’s” sons and daughters is contrasted with Ben’s finding of profound hope in collaboration with his own children. Michael’s paean to the birth of his children completes the hat trick. Children are thus seen as the embodiment of the highest and lowest of emotional experience.

    Front Page Winners:
    The Invisible by Paul Hirst (20 points)
    A family tree (sonnet by Joe, Keira and daddy Pickard) by Ben Pickard (10 points)
    Symphony of Birth by Michael (10 points)

    Honorably Mentioned:
    The Beauty of Menstruation by Alice (10 points)
    Mirage by Mortal Utopia (8 points)
    Fell by Maher (7 points)
    November perspectives by The Collaborators (7 points)
    Purple Sunsets by Beautiful Tragedy (7 points)
    Silent sound of death by Jessica Warrick (7 points)
    You always by Michael (7 points)
    Lobotomy boy by Alice (4 points)
    NOW (sofa moments) by CJ Maleney (4 points)
    One last wish by Black hole (4 points)

    Comments:

    The Invisible by Paul Hirst (10 points)
    The plight of homeless people is showcased here with
    such heaviness that it saddens to see how people both
    young and old are treated and looked upon in public.
    Not only do they have to battle with the sadness of
    been outcast by their family, but they also have to battle
    nature and the overwhelming sadness which consumes
    them during festival time. Even worse are those who have
    served all their lives protecting their countries now left to
    battle in the street too. The imagery in this write is rooted
    in the mind…touching.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The Invisible by Paul Hirst (10 points)
    This one stood out for me this week because of a very lovely holiday message. It is very sad that ex-service men and women end up this way. It is sad that some people spend their holidays on the streets. It is even more sad that some people do not really bother to help in little ways. I love the message Paul wants to convey here, although I feel this piece could make use of some edits, especially the sequence of the stanzas to achieve over-all coherence. Nonetheless a great work!

    ********************

    Symphony of Birth by Michael (10 points)
    This piece was simple, but it was fun, full of life and beauty, and the author found an incredible way to capture such a wonderful aspect of the life story. The scene was set well and the vernacular fit the piece perfectly, the author's voice and personality were clear but not so overpowering that the piece became meaningless or less universal. Honestly, I've read this piece quite a few times this week, and each time it becomes something a little more wonderful.

    ********************

    A family tree (sonnet by Joe, Keira and daddy Pickard) by Ben Pickard (10 points)
    This is astounding and for a collaboration it's hard to tell who wrote which part and what I like most about this isn't how fantastic it is but how a family came together and made it perfect.

    ********************

    The Beauty of Menstruation by Alice (10 points)
    Wonderful! Every word, every sentence, penned with an artistic flow. Well articulated. A deserving 100/10. With this poem, which could be a real experience in a woman's life (and be looked down upon), the poet has made it into a beautiful art. In glorifying something which (although does need to be glorified) still isn't accepted as nature's beauty at work in many parts of the world, this poem has glorified womanhood. I love it.

    ********************

    Mirage by Mortal Utopia (4 points)
    The emotions and word choice in this piece are what led me to be so drawn to it. While the vocabulary seemed simple, the connotations of each word carried so much more weight than I would have expected at first glance. Everything about this was spot on and managed to captivate me within this imagery packed piece.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Mirage by Mortal Utopia (4 points)
    The imagery in this poem is splendid and the comparisons, beautiful and captivatingly. There is a certain beauty in it, something enchanting, which I'm not able to describe here at all. Maybe it's this mirage you've created which has left me wondering if I really did read an enchanting poem or was it all a mirage. An overall well written poem.

    ********************

    You always by Michael (7 points)
    This was an interestingly beautifully written piece which lifted my spirits and I know we could all use someone like this in our lives and the way Michael spoke of this special bond/person was glorious and uplifting to say the least though I sense a little sadness with the usage of 'always' as though that time has passed though I truly hope not.

    ********************

    Purple Sunsets by Beautiful Tragedy (7 points)
    While the style of this piece is a little bit on the bland side, the emotion and imagery of it are fantastic. I was not only able to draw the connections the author laid out but I was able to open my eyes and relive certain moments that in a way tie to this as well, so that was a great adventure I was able to take without really any planning, effort, or anything other than a brief reading - which was wonderful. It's interesting that this is about a relationship and yet it is sunset that is mentioned and not sunrise, though I suppose that could just be me, reading too much into this. Another thing about this piece that blew me away was the sense of calmness that ran through the entire piece even though it's clearly a very personal write.

    ********************

    Silent sound of death by Jessica warrick (7 points)
    I have no words nor do I know how to comment on this
    heart wrenching write. Having gone through this same
    situation and still trying to get a grip on it…I can understand
    the depth of this pain…a moving write…take care dear..

    ********************

    Fell by Maher (7 points)
    Being an audience to this poem, this poem swoop me off my feet. Love hurts, doesn't it! And yet, we are pulled towards it like a magnet to a metal. This poem was attractive from the very beginning, it kept catching my free fall in your words, and the ending was fantastic. A beautiful story.

    ********************

    November perspectives by The Collaborators (7 points)
    This is a visually captivating piece. I love the four Novembers briefly and yet beautifully described. Every place has a certain beauty and I love where this piece took me. Loved the closing line too. It was a sweet reminder to give some love to our families. This piece flowed well as a single piece which was great knowing there are four people behind it. Lovely write.

    ********************

    Lobotomy boy by Alice (4 points)
    This is just fantastically rhymed and gory in its imagery but there was something that drew me to read this piece time and again though I couldn't pinpoint a particular part.

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    NOW (sofa moments) (4 points)
    The title caught my attention and was waiting to read
    further. Then the first two lines sort of creeped me at
    first until I read further. It’s a romantic write with so
    much said for the mind to absorb..its like I’m sitting
    through it all and watching this moment. This write for
    some reason reminded me of the movie “Ghost”. All in
    all a gentle passionate write.

    ********************

    One last wish by Black hole (4 points)
    A touching write, with a beautiful subtle rhyming. I love the openness of this piece. It is very simple and yet it touches the reader very deep with it's beautiful message. I especially love the last stanza, which really left an impression in me.

  • naaz
    9 months ago

    Congratulations to everyone!
    Thanks to judges and mods for giving their time and hosting the contest once again.
    Thanks to Dagmar and Em.

  • Ben Pickard
    9 months ago, updated 9 months ago

    Congratulations, all, and may I just say well done to Alice who is relatively new to the site, very young and - in my opinion - has created a piece of true art with 'the beauty of menstruation'. I have no doubt at all that she will be on the front page soon and it's only for the site's tie break that she is not this week.

    All the best and many thanks to the judge who has made my kids beam with pride today...not to mention their dad!

  • BlueJay
    9 months ago

    The judges this term seem to have such different preferences! At least it keeps things interesting! Congrats everyone!

  • mossgirl19
    9 months ago

    Congrats to our winners and HMs! Beautiful and amazing poetry we have, getting more and more diversed. I must second Ben, Alice is writing some really admirable pieces. Thank you for sharing your talent on this site, Alice.

    Congrats all and thank you our judges and mods.

  • Brenda
    9 months ago

    Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Thank you judges for the lovely comments on our collabs write. I apologize for not knowing who nominated this, it sure was a pleasant surprise to see it as a HM. Thank you judges for your tireless work behind the scenes and Larry for hosting.

  • Michael
    9 months ago

    Hi All :)
    Thank you Larry for great hosting as always.

    congratulations to all front pagers, and to share the page with great poets and poetry :)
    Huge thank you to all the judges for comments on my poem including a HM. Also your valuable time for this completion to happen.
    Much appreciation :)

    thank you to Andrea for nominating my winning poem, and Mark for my HM poem :) again much appreciated. There certainly are some great authors coming aboard PnQ, ell done to them too :)

    Much love
    Michael x :)

  • CJ Maleney
    9 months ago, updated 9 months ago

    Morning all.

    Firstly well done to all our winners and HM's fantastic stuff as always. Kinda chuffed Ben's got a win, not so much for him (sorry dude lol) but for his munchkins. What a fantastic welcome to the world by the site.

    As always thank you to our judges and moderators, I know it's gotta be hard work at times.

    Finally thank you to poppa pickard for nominating my poem and to which ever judge liked it enough to vote

    Respect all

    Craig

    Now after a 17 hour shift I sleep

  • Ben Pickard
    9 months ago

    'poppa Pickard' - I have to admire the alliteration, but God, it makes me sound old. Thanks Craig...

  • ddavidd
    9 months ago, updated 7 months ago

    A dim sum try round of gratitude, to all those who spare their time, and congratulation to those whose name were mentioned.