Weekly Contest Results March 26th 2018

Good Morning Everyone,
Let me first off say thank you to our judges for their time and effort which
they put in each week to make this contest a success…so thank you judges!
Congrats to our front page Winners who have captured the judges’ hearts
with emotions and life changing messages. Congrats to all those who have
received a HM too! Now for the results/comments:

WINNERS:

Autophagy by Purvi Gadia

To my wife on the loss of her father by Larry Chamberlin

Real news by Hellon

//COMMENTS//

Real News by Hellon (7 points)

This is reality. What should be the main issue which the people should
be notified off is put away somewhere in a small corner and is over taken
by the news of famous people and their achievements. Who cares if a star
has lost weight when there are thousands of children dying of hunger. A
hard hitting write to ponder upon.
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Real” news by: Hellon (7 points)

I must admit I’m not one for reading the newspapers much these days as all is far
too familiar, and the author has reflected why in someway. The author has written
this in quite a simplistic tone, however a piece that holds a far greater depth of sadness
and anguish. Two very different stories told in short, and the stark difference in what the
author describes as which is more sizeable news as printed in the newspaper they read.
The comparison of which page, each story lies, and the celebratory picks up the honours!
leaving the most saddened news further on in. I guess its what sells best, as to what is upon
the front page. Such a “real” and true account is given by the author, just saying it -how it
is. Really enjoyed this piece for a lot of reasons. Well done.
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“Real” News by Hellon (7 points)

The approach of the poet in building up her idea is super smart. Hellon’s black sarcasm hits
home in this piece. Her giving a relatively small stanza to Ahmed and his likes is a replica of
the world’s shading his right of being in the headlines. Only a skilled writer can think of this
methodology, and the poet here perfects it. My suggestions: omitting “yes” in line 9 and ending
the poem with “can you imagine?” to stress the main theme which is about the world’s not
daring to think of anything besides Kardashians’ utter nonsense. Oh, and *wink* I can’t wait
to see the work done, for those rich lines are the nectar of a marvelous future slam poem.

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Autophagy.” by: Purvi Gadia (10 points)

I read this poem a few times, just to absorb the wonderful content of this piece,
and the story in which the author paints their imagination so beautifully. I was
pulled immediately with the first three lines. The repetitive use of “thinking”
works very well here, as I could feel the author taking me into their deepest thoughts.
The imagery and words are creativity in the finest order, and I can tell the author has
a clever mind. The layout of this piece has an excellent structure. Although a read I
found quite a challenge, the author has penned this in flawless fashion.
The language in which the author writes, is really quite exceptional. Taking me on a sort
of ‘roller-coaster’ of something very beautiful, but with a dark undertone where the
author has experienced suffering, and pain from a one who was once very close to them.
The author brings their emotions to life all the way through their piece! I absolutely
loved reading this and take my hat off to the author with an outstanding job! Well
done indeed.

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Autophagy”by Purvi Gadia (7 points)

This brooding poem about ‘thinking’ is simply captivating. So many of our
unfocused thoughts come from nowhere, go nowhere and mean little, but to
get them out and watch them tumble from one thought into another is fascinating.
A ‘needless roughage of thoughts’ it may be, but being privy to the thoughts and
where they originate feels a bit like voyeurism. Seeing a fly; overhearing a conversation;
the day becoming night; feeling thirsty … all leading to a new set of random thoughts.
The unstructured form of this poem is perfect for the content, and in my opinion, no
other form would have done these words justice.

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To My Wife on the Loss of Her Father by Larry Chamberlain (10 points)

This is very beautifully and delicately written and moved me no end which I'm sure can be
said for anyone else reading it. It is clear that you love your wife and will support her through
this difficult time, it is also clear that you thought highly of your father in law. I would just like
to take this opportunity to say you and your family are in my thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To my wife and the loss of her father” by: Larry Chamberlin (4 points)

The author has written this piece in such a lovely way, albeit under very
saddened circumstances. A piece that will relate to many, with the loss of a
parent no matter how old we are!
I like the way in which the author delicately uses his pen, and the calm I felt
when I had read this piece. From the start the wonderful tribute to I am sure
no doubt a fine gentleman and father, and then a message of wisdom, of the
strength to continue on and keep the next generations going as a parent. A really
nicely written dedication to ones wife for her sad loss.
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HM’s:

America never beautiful by Poet on the Piano

The Pampered Poets of the 21st Century by Poet on the Piano

If my love by Mark

Paint the town a dream by Nee

Angelic (acrostic) by maple tree

Ghosts by Tony

Black hole by nazz

//COMMENTS//

America, never beautiful by Poet on the Piano (10 points)

A dagger in the eyeball. Good God, the poet left me in awe after the very first read. One
but asks, “How does an American have the balls to point fingers at him/herself for the
many faults of the U.S government?” The question itself converts you to another “What does
patriotism mean?” To me, being a patriot is not about being blind to what governments are
doing. It is not about love, for many a time love is blind. And blindness takes you down. See?
It’s merely about balance. Everything is about balance. Critique is a human necessity for
improvement, for not being blinded by whatsoever. Thomas Paine beautifully puts it, “The
duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” Indeed. Such poems force you
to think and rethink. This is the beauty of poetry, raising questions, throwing spice in the eyes.
Maryanne has written this gem with a strikingly smooth flow. “nationalism has bred us into
killers, / America, the homeland of terrorism.” I, an outsider, wouldn’t dare to say it. What’s
really smart too is that the analysis of the poet regarding the link between the Russians-killed
Syrian children and the feeling of shame she has and which is stirred by the U.S government’s
actions cannot be undermined by any argument. My suggestions: “brothers’ blood” instead of
“brother’s blood” and converting the last question to a statement because it will bombard the
point with extra power (example: America, I always thought you were beautiful / until you
gave birth to violence). Beautiful does not suffice.

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Paint the Town a Dream by Nee (4points)

I understand where the poet is coming from. And I understand where she is going. Who doesn’t wish
to paint his wretched homeland a dream? The tone is captivating, and the fact that a very simple diction
was used highlights the idea of the town’s pale façade. It is really hard to live a grey life in a grey area,
where every day is similar, and the rivers flow but backwards. The reader can sense the frustration, yet
the never-ending hope, all throughout the stanzas. And in this lies the beauty of the piece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paint the Town a Dream” by Nee (4 points)

Nee’s wonderful blend of gratitude at being where she is, homesickness for where she
is not and sympathy for those who do not get to share the rich colours of her life are so
excellently expressed here. It feels as though she is torn between the joy she feels for
herself and guilt for knowing others dear to her cannot share her joy. Beautiful symbolism
throughout.
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Black hole (haiku) by naaz (7 points)

Personally I feel that haikus/senryus do not get the recognition they deserve because
they're such short pieces but this piece by naaz said quite alot in such a limited word count..
The image is one which feels me with a little hope yet saddens me as Stephen Hawking's
was ‘a caged bird’ around these part but since he's passed over, I believe that he will have
‘found his lost nest’ and now he can be one with the earth/galaxy he studied so much
without any limitations in my eyes. Powerful short piece

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Angelic (acrostic) by maple tree (4 points)

This form like many others is not usually recognised but I think they should be especially
when done so well because in my opinion acrostics are hard to write well let alone rhymed
and maple did a fantastic job with both and told a somewhat tragic story in the process, hats
off to you
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If, my love by Mark (10 points)

This poem is such a beautiful expression of love, and written in a classic language
of the ‘romantics’ which only adds to its impact. Mark takes us on a journey of the
senses with how he conveys his love from his ‘inner’ self to his loved one – using
metaphorical doves, flutes, hearts, calligraphy and even quilt patches (my fave bit).
It’s a feast for the eyes, heart and mind and the aabbccc rhyme scheme makes each
septet feel like a poem by itself. My favourite poem this week.

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Ghosts by Tony (4 points)

Genuine and heartfelt. These emotions and feelings of the past are
the ghosts one has to live with for the rest of one’s life. No matter how
much we try to forget it never fades and though the consequences
are heavy and painful it takes great strength to survive…take care.
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The Pampered Poets of the 21st Century by Poet on the Piano (10 points)

Bravo!! Every word and sentence from start to finish is so very true!
You have made your point. Where praise is needed praise and whether writers
like it or not when constructive comments are needed then that
too must be added. If critics are going to rip it apart then so be it! I liked
the emotions and the honesty in this write!!

Congratulations to all the front page winners and HM's! Uniquely different and beautiful in their own way. Thank you judges for your time and comments. Meena, thank you for hosting.

Congratulations to everybody involved, we have had another week of beautiful poetry. And thank you all the judges, Meena aunty, and all the mods and readers, for all your time and effort. :)

P.S. I changed the title of my poem from "thinking" to "autophagy".

Congrats all

Hi all :)

Thank you to Meena for hosting this weeks competition.

congratulations to all the winners including all HMs awarded, with great pieces of writing. To all the judges for their time each and every week to sift through and find the front page poets.

Much love
Michael :)

Congratulations everyone for the beautiful poetry in the homepage or the HM.

I want to sincerely thank the judges for their comments on my poem To Pain the Town a Dream. This poem was written for my home (Egypt) and I thought some people didn't understand it (I bet it's my fault in portraying the image itself). It seems that both judges knew where this was coming from, and it means so much to me that they related to it. Thank you judges!

Sinners Gospel: I apologise!
I aimed for “reply” and hit “delete” in error. Please forgive me and repost your comment.

A big thank you to all the judges for your time and dedication. You are so appreciated!

Thank you to both of the judges for the honorable mention, and I will definitively take the suggestions for "America, never beautiful". I really appreciate the depth of the comments.

Thank you to Meena for posting :)

Thanks to the judges for the comments. Congrats to Hellon and Purvi, for your poems are hard hitting and well phrased.
Congrats also the HMs. Thanks to the judges for your efforts and to Meena for posting.

For all the condolences, both in the judges’ comments and the comments on the poem, my wife and I thank each of you. Yes, Renee was a true gentleman. When he came to visit once, when I was 64 or so, he asked me if I had done anything for which he should ground me.

Congratulation to the other winners and HMs. Thank you judges for your comments, appreciated as always. Thanks to this weeks host and to Nana for nominating my poem.

Thanks also for the pm I received notifying me of my win...I like this new addition to the site.

It was on a par with getting a telegram from the Queen :)

OMG, Can't believe my first ever haiku listed between the HM's!

Love you judges:)

Congratulations to everyone, even who were nominated.

Thanks to our moderators for organizing weekly contests and thanks to my beautiful brenda for nominating my poem.

Congrats all!

Congrats to our winners and HMs!

Fantastic front page run. Thanks Meena for posting and judges for voting.. Ooh I'm a poetess and didn't know it ;) also well done HMs all well deserved

Congratulations to all poems highlighted this week and thank you to the judges for their time.