Comments : The Girl With the Serpentine Hair

  • 7 years ago

    by Hellon

    My thoughts on this when I first read it is that you are looking at a painting perhaps and you are envious of the happiness and carefree atutude of the person portrayed in it. How confident she looks and maybe she reminds you of someone you know in real life...someone you would like to get to know but...something (your own confidence maybe) is holding you back for....why would she give you a second look?

    It's easy to see what you want to see, be it in a portrait or in a person you don't know but you have built a pedestal for...kind of 'like the grass looks greener on the other side' syndrome.

    Perhaps my thoughts are totally wrong but...very intriguing just like your wonderful title.

  • 7 years ago

    by Decayed

    Jordan, I really like the detailed descriptions and your eerie style, I mean eerily perfect. One thing maybe, why not divide the piece into several stanzas? It would be, for sure, more comfortable to the eyes.

    Anyway, I was enticed by the fervent imagery and the vividness all over. Excellent piece.

  • 7 years ago

    by Jordan

    Until I become a professional writer, I am not worried about my writing being comfortable for any of the senses. Even then, I will probably only bend a little bit.

    After all, one of my recurring intentions is to spark nerves in one way or another no matter what I'm writing.

    Thanks for the input, though. Much appreciated.

  • 7 years ago

    by sibyllene

    Introducing Stieg Larsson's new book, "The Girl with the Serpentine Hair."

    That's the first thing I thought of. The second thing is that, once again, it's like I can't logically understand all the phrases, but it's accessible on a tacit level of understanding. Very odd, very cool.

    I edited this comment. Because you can do that, now.