Comments : Love you

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I am going to go over this exactly as I read it, Em.

    'Love you'
    ^
    Sounds good to me. But...

    'I'll lock you up in my love'
    ^
    Not sure when I read this line. Genuine loving sentiment or more the stalking insinuation of The Police's 'Everywhere you go'? I did, however, enjoy the subtle alliteration here between 'lock' and 'love'.

    'then throw away the key'
    ^
    Oh dear. 'I'll be watching you' is beginning to play loud and clear in my head here with that chilling bass line... Still, it could yet be positive!

    'as I want this intimacy'
    ^
    At least we know you want to be intimate with this person and not torture them to death slowly, But still, when passion reaches such extents it can sometimes become sinister, so I am still not sure what is meant by this poem quite yet.

    'between you and me'
    ^
    an extension of the last line, in terms of how I interpret the poem, anyway.

    'to last for all eternity'
    ^
    Okay, you are clearly very much in love with this person and have no immediate intentions on their life, but whether you intended it or not, I do enjoy the rather dark ambiguity of this poem. Innocent or worrying?
    By the way, I do appreciate the same end rhyme in lines 2-5 - not easy to do always.

    Take care, Em

    *nominated

    • 1 year ago

      by Em (marmite)

      Thank you so very much for your time and detailed comment it's appreciated

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hi, Em.
    I can't follow Ben's praise worthy comment, but...
    Three words can mean so much when the love felt is mutual. I feel this is your time to 'get lucky'
    All the best x

  • 1 year ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    I have to agree with everybody. Excellent and hugs to you

  • 1 year ago

    by Noureddine

    Goood goooood oooooooone poem I really like it love it .....very strong feeling..thank you for the poem