Her iridescence left me feeling ill -
The ever changing hue, a visual maze -
But from that flashing star, my passion grew -
A savage beast that nighttime set ablaze.
It prowls between the silver moonlit trees;
It stalks the caves and blackness held within.
It lurks beneath the dank and musty eaves;
It forges only punishment and sin.
And when the moon has dimmed and daylight reigns -
When sunlight holds and swaddles her in glare -
I look for her amidst the grass and grain,
But find no peace or sort of comfort there.
When wine is watered down, it has no taste;
A star that cannot shine is starry waste.
This sonnet speaks a lot about a hurful truth, Ben...you did an amazing job making very important points thru a very lovely sonnet...and here I go jealous again of how amazing you are as a sonnet writer (actually king :-) )
This took me a few reads to conjure up a formidable comment to write. You always do well with metaphors and working them into a poem, and here it is no different.
Admittedly I had to look up the word iridescence, but after learning its meaning you did well to use it here. It seems like you made the first few lines center around it, which is unique in itself. The start of the poem I believe has a person who has changed from this happy go lucky person into someone who struggles every day, judging from the title- it is addiction. And I know the poem goes deeper than that, but it's the basic premise. You have described perfectly the face of addiction, I enjoyed how you tried to give addiction a physical form, albeit a monster shape, kind of like a shapeshifter-
which to be fair it kind of is, it changes your emotional state and physical appearance too. I liked the story you told altogether, because as you see it addiction is a nighttime thing, so possibly alcohol because you show us that the character is traveling through the night without any knowledge of where they are going or doing, and it goes to show how bad addiction really is.
I do believe the star part is why they turned to addiction in the first place or that's how I see it- Perhaps their star has stopped shining because they feel guilty about something, and they blame themselves, and the stars could be a metaphor for heaven. I'm just spitballing here though. Either way great poem