Loved the title, and whilst the image you paint is definitely nothing new, the story carries enough depth, and your word choice is interesting and fitting. I feel you wrote yourself into this poem, as it gets stronger with each stanza. A sad and (unfortunately) too true poem.
Well done Ben, I agree with the others, that your rhyming metaphors were expertly placed. Indeed, a sad tale, the industrial acid smog and rain, which is destroying many a beloved woodland, even the mighty whale has become frail.
Added to my favorites.
I was reminded of this while reading and hearing the news of the wildfires in the Amazon rainforest. Both carry a heavy and sad feeling..
1 year ago
by Lost One
I'm a little late to this one but its definitely a new favorite of mine. I love the extended metaphor here, the gradual deforestation and the death of your poor Sprite. It reminds me of a Lovecraft short story about a road,
"The Street" I believe, that was witnessing the gradual change of the city and people around it. Well written!