A beautiful poem, very beautiful wording, smooth rhyme, it is indeed slow and yet compelling poem. It reminded me of William Wordsworth.
I started feeling involved in the poem reaching the 3rd line, it was powerful and simple. I loved the concept but think you do not need "but" since there is no contrasting with (I do not swim). Maybe you meant it in a different way but I'm only speaking from how interpreted it.
The other parts are heartbreaking, however, definitely not the cliche way of writing an emotional poem, you actually have a wide imagination.
The outcome is touching. I enjoyed reading every verse.
It always amazes me the beautiful tapestries that you paint with words..Drenched with emotion and imagery you make even the simplest things glorious. "The grass is mocked by weeds" and "The blackbird flings a listless tune" what a wonderfully creative way of viewing and portraying the world. Glad to see it nominated. Milly x
Line by line the poem gets deeper. It feels like you are slowly trying to make your way up a mountain, trying to reach the peak ( which is the love you seek) but instead of getting closer the night falls and it becomes dark (further away).
I really am feeling so much sadness in your latest poems. You have magical way with words you convey emotions so well!!