Comments : cast off the old (senryu)

  • 4 months ago

    by Star

    This is soooooo beautiful!!!

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, star. I hope you're keeping well.

  • 4 months ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Fantastic senryu! The purpose and determination felt in this, the connection to nature and extension to all on earth, was inspiring. "re-dressing" made me think of "re-inventing", but in a subtle way. Keeping one's dignity and uniqueness, yet altering certain things, working on one's character in a way to further growth. To not stray from who they really are, only draw closer and understand their direction in new ways, if that makes sense.

    Lovely!

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      It certainly does make sense, MA, as all your commentary does. Thank you.

      Ben

  • 4 months ago

    by Rania Moallem

    This is epic. For me this meant a lot from my own perspective, it will lose all and then redress itself again ..the title says it all. I was deeply touched by this senryu, it honestly speaks volumes with little words. I wish it was mine.

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you so much, Rania. I'M glad people can relate.

  • 4 months ago

    by Tony Grannell

    Hello Ben,
    What an intelligently composed senryu and loaded to the brim with zen, the essence of this oriental form. It's as if the bark of the tree is wrapped around the reader in the wisdom of your words. Masterful!

    All the very best, Tony.

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks so much, Tony. Your comments and time are always appreciated.

  • 3 months ago

    by Michael

    A wonderful piece Ben, very much said in such little words but makes every bit of sense, very good.

    I hope you and all are safe and well, M :)

    • 3 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Michael. All good here. I hope you and yours are well too.

  • 3 months ago

    by Violet Raven

    As soon as i read the title the first thought that came to mind is shedding old skin. This can be related to many things in general, trees (as you wrote) shed their leaves when they get cold and when the sunshines for spring they are renew. Snakes shed their skin as well. However

    A keen eye will notice that this is a senryu and in that fact this poem is heavy in metaphors. As senryus deal with human emotions.

    So in my mind the two key words in the poem are not something one might think. Trees represent a person in your life who is having a difficult time coping and slowly like the tree in winter (the tree is this person) they are slowly healing from a tragic event.

    The wording surrounding the main plot points are well used. Because this is a poem of healing and you want to continue that emotion.

    • 3 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you for such a thoughtful comment

  • 1 month ago

    by Gracy Judith

    This is a strong piece Ben! I love brevity in poetry...it's always fascinating how so much can be conveyed in just few words. Simply awesome!