This is one of those poems that gives the emotion, with just a taste of the story. They always leave me and my curious mind with 1,000 questions that I am to imagine myself. The weight of the last line, "You have left me" was a perfect way to drive the feeling home, and ask me, as the reader, to go and read again.
bleed the moon of life,"
- Never would have thought of this phrasing. Brilliant, especially with the use of "bleed".
- This flows so well, and I feel like you've used lagoons before or some alliteration similar? The metaphor further outpours this sadness, this despair. The despair that is never-ending, a chasm. Death, something that one cannot escape, but can make us wonder where the soul goes. If the sorrow continues. What it means.
Those last three lines are gut-wrenching, really no other words. Remembering someone, remembering what their presence felt like, and knowing how tortuous it is to have witness their spirit in life but also see them passing on and the final moments...