Comments : A Rotten Prayer

  • 1 month ago

    by Brenda

    Dang it Ben! Such a dark piece but so well done, have to give you the props it deserves. Nominated Sir!

  • 1 month ago

    by Em (marmite)

    I'll come back and edit... X

  • 1 month ago

    by cassie hughes

    So much emotion. I am speechless.

  • 1 month ago

    by Em (marmite)

    The title here I feel is extremely sarcastic especially upon reading the content.. It's as though you've written a prayer expecting it to be answered such a time ago that it's now rotting away as it's so old and the only reason you find it is that you've had to come back to it and seemingly write it again in the hope it will eventually be answered... I know I'm probably way off but just my thoughts.
    This is extremely sad and hard hitting l. I think in life, unfortunately, we've all felt like screaming "why didn't you take me instead of them" and it makes us question if I'm fact there is a god because if there was they wouldn't keep testing us like that but on the hand some of us feel these times are sent to try us... Hopefully that makes sense. The "besmeared with salt from shrivelled eyes" shows that this person meant a lot to you or people did as I know you've lost a few peope over the past few years. My thoughts are with you and your family. I read once "grief never gets easier, you just learn to live with it" and it's true to a certain extent... Hugs
    The next couple of lines ooze with hurt, hatred and much sarcasm to whoever is up there messing with your emotions like this, taking loved ones willy nilly (I apologise if anything I say seems out of turn it's not meant to) because they've 'seen nothing yet' the "ooze regret" here has an fantastic effect that shows because of this your regret something... No doubt it's something you didn't do e.g say I love you enough... I know the feeling well as when my grandparents died i stayed up many a night crying, kicking myself for not telling them I loved them, enough and it cut so deep..just know they knew as I'm guessing your actions spoke volumes.
    The next couple of lines are pretty open ended.. It makes me wonder if 'he' who isn't listening is God or its your loved one not listening because no matter how much you beg them to come back, they won't.. Bless you.
    The last stanza was just wow. I can't even imagine what you're going through as we all deal with grief so differently. Just know I'm here if you ever need a friend.
    Take care and hopefully I've said nothing out of line.
    Em x