To Live Is To Die

by BEJohnson   Jun 23, 2020

I know in doing this I'm only making it worse.
I already know the pain I've put you through.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
But this, Momma, is something I had to do.

By me taking my life it doesn't mean you failed.
It means that I could no longer fight.
This was my life to live to the fullest.
Yet nothing I had ever done felt right.

I lived day to day feeling defeated and empty.
Depression had consumed all of me.
I refused to reach out to you, I was ashamed.
I knew no matter what I did I couldn't break free.

I know in doing this I'm taking a gamble.
Please do what you do best Momma, pray.
I don't know where I'm going to end up.
All I know is I can't go on living another day.

I hope God can accept me in his arms.
I pray that He can forgive me for this sin.
And I hope you can smile again someday.
Please don't focus on what could have been.

I hope you can move on but not forget.
That your baby girl loved you so much.
There is nothing that I'll miss more.
Than that of your loving and gentle touch.

I love you Momma and I'll watch over you.
I'll be the brightest star in the sky.
Please don't let this consume you because I knew.
That the only way for me to live was to die.


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