Comments : Clear Skies and a Bright Future

  • 1 month ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Keira, I've been waiting for another poem and here it is, 12 lines consisting of 6 rhyming couplets. And what a poem it is...
    What I took from this is its important to respect and trust in others, but also ones self. Dreams will transcend those dark clouds and yes sometimes it will take effort, but with effort often comes reward - clear skies and a Bright future

    Nicely laid out and your line length/syllable count is regular. Chip off the old block. Lol

  • 1 month ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Darn, it looks like dad beat me to it! *Walks away in a huff*

  • 1 month ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I was waiting for a new piece, Keira!

    The lines I connected to the most:

    "We shouldn't hide feelings like saddness or fear
    And trust isn't shared to be forgotten,"

    - It's only human of us to feel a range of emotions. The more we push feelings of fear or sadness, the more we may hinder our own growth. And we can't do it alone. That trust and loyalty and faith in another person is enough. We have to open up to others.
    - Also, typo in "saddness"

    Other thoughts:

    "Emotions aren't there to harm eachother,"
    ^ put a space between "eachother"

    I wasn't 100% sure on the line "don't trip the trap that so many do". It wasn't the "trap" that was throwing me off but the phrasing of "trip the trap" that broke the flow for me for some reason.

    But I really loved the overall message, each line holds so much wisdom and truth, and the reminder that there are other "layers" in the future than darkness. We can't dismiss the dark parts in our lives, we have to acknowledge them and process them in the hopes of overcoming and seeing the clarity at some point.

    • 1 month ago

      by Keira Pickard

      Thank you for your insightful comment. Yes, Dad pointed out that grammar error on ' each other ' earlier! Thank you again :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Brenda

    And your dad beat all of us to a nomination. Keira, you are a poet in your own right. This is a lovely poem with a lot of really good advice. Well done!

  • 1 month ago

    by Michael

    Very good young Keira and wonderful rhyming
    M :)

  • 1 month ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Thank you everyone!

  • 1 month ago

    by Star

    I started writing at 15, and it was nothing near this.
    You’re doing such a great job, I like the soft rhyme and the rhyme in this.
    “ Dreams aren't conjured up just to go rotten.”
    ^
    This is my favorite line. Can’t wait to read more from you Keira!!

  • 1 month ago

    by Emi

    Hello Kiera, I absolutely love the optimism within the title and I sure as hope that life keeps throwing you the clear skies and bright future too :)
    This poem is extremely true and I think alot of us 'oldies' (I speak for myself) can take something from this. An extremely powerful and perfectly written piece, well done and glad to see it nominated. Best wishes for the week ahead and a positive future. Em x

    • 1 month ago

      by Keira Pickard

      Thank you so much, best wishes to you too! Thank you again.

  • 1 month ago

    by Jane Do-Re-Mi

    If Greta Thunberg was a poet instead of a young activist I'm certain, with poetry of this standard, you would give her some serious competition. Very Well written.