Keira, I've been waiting for another poem and here it is, 12 lines consisting of 6 rhyming couplets. And what a poem it is...
What I took from this is its important to respect and trust in others, but also ones self. Dreams will transcend those dark clouds and yes sometimes it will take effort, but with effort often comes reward - clear skies and a Bright future
Nicely laid out and your line length/syllable count is regular. Chip off the old block. Lol
"We shouldn't hide feelings like saddness or fear
And trust isn't shared to be forgotten,"
- It's only human of us to feel a range of emotions. The more we push feelings of fear or sadness, the more we may hinder our own growth. And we can't do it alone. That trust and loyalty and faith in another person is enough. We have to open up to others.
- Also, typo in "saddness"
"Emotions aren't there to harm eachother,"
^ put a space between "eachother"
I wasn't 100% sure on the line "don't trip the trap that so many do". It wasn't the "trap" that was throwing me off but the phrasing of "trip the trap" that broke the flow for me for some reason.
But I really loved the overall message, each line holds so much wisdom and truth, and the reminder that there are other "layers" in the future than darkness. We can't dismiss the dark parts in our lives, we have to acknowledge them and process them in the hopes of overcoming and seeing the clarity at some point.
I started writing at 15, and it was nothing near this.
You’re doing such a great job, I like the soft rhyme and the rhyme in this.
“ Dreams aren't conjured up just to go rotten.”
This is my favorite line. Can’t wait to read more from you Keira!!
Hello Kiera, I absolutely love the optimism within the title and I sure as hope that life keeps throwing you the clear skies and bright future too :)
This poem is extremely true and I think alot of us 'oldies' (I speak for myself) can take something from this. An extremely powerful and perfectly written piece, well done and glad to see it nominated. Best wishes for the week ahead and a positive future. Em x