Buttercups.

your eyes were the only thing that ever looked at me like I was something worth fighting for

but your gaze is turned towards the compass,
traveling to places not meant for me.
and just because I depart
doesn’t mean I’m up for the neglect -
my head is foggy and
I just wish that I could get
to the point
where I am not just trying to touch
your face

I can taste blood in my mouth in the worst way
my hands are shaking at the tips
loving you is like
taking a drag
of your first menthol
cigarette

and if the hit is silent why
why can I still hear you
saying my
saying my n a m e
stuttering on my love drips

because I feel like all of me
is silent
when it comes to your day to day
and I feel my heartbreak
transgressing
while you destroy
my
heart
a g a i n