Comments : We Wander Where The Weeds Grow

  • 6 days ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Once a garden of Eden was an imaginary place, full of life, a place for mankind to call his own. Now, this place is more real and its lands, seas and skies polluted. Now the beauty has faded, it's time to cover up the flaws, dress her in an overcoat and pretend we didn't ruin her. The naked truth is we are guilty and asking him to help will, more than likely, fall on deaf ears.

    • 6 days ago

      by Ben Pickard

      I'm not a religious man, Michael, so unfortunately, I agree.

  • 6 days ago

    by Keira Pickard

    Lovely piece ,Dad. I like the title and the subject - also, I've never seen this format before, as well!
    I have one criticism: When you said the line,
    God help us, we are lost!
    I don't think there should be a capital ' E ' on the following line, because of the exclamation mark before it - but I might get be wrong!
    Well executed!

    • 6 days ago

      by Ben Pickard

      You may be right there, but what with the change of line and all, I thought it best. So there.
      Thank you, Keira. I will praise this comment but they're a tough crowd these mods, lol

  • 6 days ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Amazing pieces of imagery throughout this poem, lots of scenes that you take the reader to, and let them explore that little stanza in their own mind.

    I think this poem holds a lot of ideas because in one sense, the world was given to us and it could have been a much better place had everyone taken better care of it, and of ourselves, and I think there are small parts of this poem that I took apart further such as the microwaves, and how lazy we have become with things as we age, and how we opt for the more convenient option to ourselves, without often a thought for convenience to another thing or person.

    On another hand, this poem holds a lot of messages about how we treat ourselves, and how that also changes with time, and our own bodies go through changes that we should nurture but instead we complain and don't make the changes to help. I can imagine the poem being adjusted to suit an aging body, no longer able to do as it once could, missing the memories of what it could do before.
    Even the layout is very "body-like" and structured like the way the body ages and the mind battles thorughout those stages.

    Anyway, lots of great ideas came into my head when reading this, great write.
    Good luck in the contest

    • 6 days ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Wonderful comment, Saffie. Many thanks.

  • 6 days ago

    by Emi

    Hi Ben, I like this style from you it's refreshing and as ever your piece is full of wonderful imagery that makes the piece.
    Take care, Em x

  • 6 days ago

    by Jane Do-Re-Mi

    I feel anger here but also, a sense of helplessness. The world was in a very bad place before covid and I sometimes worry that our environmental problems have been pushed aside and ignored to some extent

    • 6 days ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Exactly right, Jane. Thanks for reading.